Things are a million times worse now...

I am so upset... my poor mom!

This morning, we were figuring out what we could do to stop my uncle from badgering Oma, and we thought it would be best for Oma to write him a letter expressing her wishes since when she talks to him in person, she gets all confused and forgets what she wanted to say. So, we sat down this afternoon and drafted a letter together and we edited it many times until Oma said it was exactly what she wanted to say. Then we read it to her 3 times so she was sure it was what she wanted. The basis of it was that my uncle was not welcome on her property until he accepts Oma's wishes (that I am to manager her fiances) and apologizes to my mom for the allegations he made towards her. We have not yet sent the letter since we want someone impartial to this to witness it and talk to Oma when mom is out of the room to read her the letter and make sure it is what she wanted to say and ask her whether she is being forced.

Oma also told me several times this afternoon how he is not welcome at her house right now and even said she's not sure she can ever forgive him. She told my mom that she will do whatever it takes to protect her.

My uncle dropped by this afternoon and my mom told him that Oma said he is not welcome on the property. My uncle turned to Oma and said "did you say that"? And Oma's response was "of course not; you are welcome here anytime". My mom said she wrote a letter just an hour ago stating that he is not welcome and my uncle turned to Oma and asked "is that true?" and Oma said "Of course not, I didn't write a letter". My uncle laughed in my mom's face and said it must have been her that wrote the letter. So, Oma completely forgot everything from this afternoon and took my uncle's side.

Now my mom looks like a complete liar! She feels completely betrayed that Oma could say this morning that she will do anything to protect her and then only hours later, she throws her under the bus and takes my uncle's side. My uncle said in writing that he will spend every dime he has taking my mom through a bitter and expensive law suit.

So, now we have no idea what will happen. We don't really have a leg to stand on if Oma tells one thing to my mom and then the complete opposite to my uncle. We don't know how far he will take this. My mom is scared to go home in case he calls the police claiming elder abuse.

I think we are going to hold off on sending the letter since that will only make him even more mad and then he will definitely take legal action. We want to lay low until the new will is all signed and that's done. Mom sent Oma's lawyer a copy of my uncle's nasty email tonight saying that Oma is asking for his advice on how to proceed to make sure she is protected.

What an absolute nightmare!!!! I feel absolutely sick.