I had a great time at the cottage with Carlos and Julie. It was too bad that lj and nej didn't end up coming, but I'm glad we have rescheduled for a few weeks from now.
That was the first time we've been to the cottage just the 3 of us and it was so nice to have a little vacation. It was so quiet and peaceful! I enjoyed every moment! Until we were about halfway home and I realized I forgot to turn off the pump and hot water tank. So, we had to turn around and go back. We spent a little extra time at the cottage that way ;)
I am struggling with something and I'm not really sure how to handle it. Oma wants to see Julie all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she cares. I just think the second we walk out the door, she has forgotten that we have visited and is desperate for another visit. We went to visit yesterday after getting home from the cottage even though we were both tired. Well, a half hour after getting home from visiting her, she calls to ask if we could come back for another visit! I really wanted to have today at home to just get caught up on laundry and spend some time with just Julie, and Oma has already called saying she misses Julie and asking for us to come for a visit. Am I crazy for wanting a break from Oma? I realized this weekend that my maternity leave is more than half over, and I have spent almost all of my time either looking after Julie or trying to make Oma happy. Am I being selfish for wanting some time alone with my daughter? I don't want to sound ungrateful, I am happy that mom and Oma live so close and want to spend time with us, I just don't like being made to feel guilty if I don't want to visit every single day! So, I'm going to have to start saying no some of the time, but I know what's going to happen if I do that... she will start crying and begging. I will still visit of course, I just can't do every day anymore. Any advice on how I can get the point across that I want time alone with my daughter without hurting any feelings?
7 comments:
No that's not selfish. :)
I have no idea what to suggest. Could you just say that you want some mommy-baby time? Maybe when she calls and asks for a visit, you can say, "I will bring Julie on such-and-such day for a visit". At least, she'll have something to look forward to? I dunno, with her memory not being so good, this makes things tougher.
If it was me, I'd just not answer the phone. But then, I don't like feeling pressured and would avoid that. :)
Not selfish at all. I think it is really hard because of your grandma's dementia. Luckily none of my grandparents went through that, I think it would be especially hard.
You have call display right? could you start screening calls from oma? I know it sounds kind of horrible, but you could just tell her you were out when she called and return the call the next day. kind of self regulate the phone calls?
I'm sad that we missed the cottage, but I think it was a wise move on my part, I studied most of the weekend and made some good progress. Still lots more to do.
Ya, Oma's dementia makes it all the more complicated. Yes, we have call display so I think I will just have to start screening the calls and only answering when I have time to visit since I know that would be why she is calling.
You missed a nice weekend at the cottage, but I'm glad you got some studying done and now you can really relax on the 22/23 since the exam will be over! Carlos won't be joining us since he has a guys weekend planned with his friends, so it will just be us ladies plus Arash!
I'm sorry we missed the weekend too. But, I did get lots of needed sleep. I'm almost at 100% feeling better. I still get a little stuffed up, and my appetite is not yet completely normal, but getting there!
I think I had the flu. Blech.
So did anyone explain why they didn't invite Carlos to the party? Are his friends acting normal again?
The friends I was talking about that Carlos is getting together with is a different group of friends than the ones being asshats.
Carlos asked a few of the asshats what was up and it took him awhile to actually get an explanation. Some of them just skated around it without offering any explanation. So, he went to the 'hostess' (the one who hosts this party every year) and asked her point blank why he wasn't invited. She said it was because Pat was and there is tension between Carlos and Pat. Carlos was completely unaware of this tension! Carlos was a little annoyed at Pat a couple years ago when Pat chose going to a concert instead of going to our wedding, but they have since worked that out and even shared a room at last year's party. So, that explanation makes absolutely no sense. She also said that sometimes people just drift apart. VERY hurtful since Carlos has been making a real effort to keep in touch and they have been doing nothing. It is ALWAYS Carlos that has to reach out to them via phone calls or emails, etc.
So, he has realized he is better off without them and is not going to waste any more energy on them. He is going to put his time into friends that actually respect him and treat him well!
What a bunch of creeps. :(
Although, someone who would choose to go to a concert rather than their friend's wedding is no prize.
Glad he gets to spend time with those who matter. :)
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