CT and I were talking yesterday in the car on our way back to my place from having lunch with his parents, and I let the f-word slip out: “forever”. I had been thinking for the last few weeks that I could really see myself marrying CT someday, and we were talking and he said that he has never met anyone like me, how we are right for each other, didn’t know what real love was until he met me, all that sappy stuff and he said that he wants to be with me for as long as I want to be with him (in other words he’s not going anywhere). So, of course, I said “I want to be with you forever.” Now, under any normal circumstances, I would have thought about this before I just blurted it out (we all know how some guys can get very scared when forever or marriage are mentioned), but I don’t know if it was all the wine I had with lunch or the fact he was saying so many sweet things, I just thought it would be a good time to let him know what my intentions are and that I have been thinking that this relationship is the one. Needless to say, he was not freaked out (sigh of relief). Turns out he feels the same way. Sounds like we are both in it for the long haul. Yay! I am so glad he reciprocates my feelings!
And now I have this big, empty house, so who knows, maybe he will have to join me in it ;) We have talked about it in passing, but have yet to have a serious discussion about living together. I have a feeling it is on the horizon, I’m just not sure when. I have mixed feelings on the issue. It would be nice to take our relationship to a more serious level, I would like to have him around more (I am not liking this only on weekends thing – he lives a half hour away and has a different work schedule than me, so we only see each other on weekends), I wouldn’t need to find roommates if CT moved in since he could help with the expenses, etc. I guess the major con is I would be afraid what people thought; especially my church friends. Since shacking up is not exactly okay according to the Bible. So that’s where that stands. I shouldn’t be concerned about what others think, so we’ll see.
So, for those of you who have lived with a significant other before (or even those who have not who may have insight), can you offer me any advice? Pros? Cons? Did you find it hard in the beginning not having your own space? Any insight would be awesome. Thanks ladies ;)
6 comments:
I think it's important to live with your sig fig before marriage. You certainly learn alot more about the other person on account of all the time you spend together.
Living with STB Mr. Burger has been great in every way. However, since I'm a pretty quiet person I do get annoyed from time-to-time. When this happens, I usually just tell him I need at least an hour to myself to do whatever I please without being interrupted. It works out nicely.
And really, that's the only issue I have. I will say that living together does take some time getting used to, but like I said - I absolutely think it's essential to have that sort of relationship before you get married. (Screw what other people think. You should do what you want, guiltfree)
Good luck!
I too belive you should live with your significant other before getting hitched. I also found out not too long ago that my parents lived together before they were married.
JB's family is ultra-religous and wernen't overly happy we were living together. His mom mentioned it to him once, and that's it.
People are more than welcome to their opinions, but you have to remember... it's your life.
I'm late to the party. I think it is beneficial to live with someone before being married, however, I don't really have any personal experience to back it up. My parents lived together before getting married, and Sarah and Wes did for 2 months (not a long time, but their post university lives were in different cities - while in school they pretty much lived together though).
It is a big step to take, and I understand completely where you are coming from. I mentioned the other day that there was a job I was considering applying to in Mississauga and AF said that he could move there. There has certainly been hinting about that kind of step here too. I'm not ready for it yet, but who knows what will happen when I'm done school. It's certainly something I'm going to have to start thinking about in the next little while.
I'm probably the only person who was thinking this while reading your post (so feel free to ignore my input) but isn't this a little soon to be talking about moving in together? I know the heart wants what it wants, but I just couldn't help thinking that this is very fast. No one else has mentioned it, so perhaps it's just my opinion. You are still in the "lovey-dovey I don't want to be away from him for more than a minute" stage, so perhaps it's not the best time to be making a decision about living arrangements? Like I said, I'm the only one who has mentioned this, and I just want you to be happy. Perhaps this is my mother-hen coming out... ;)
As for the living together before marriage, I have mixed feelings. I think it's definitely good for some couples, but others not so much. I guess what it boils down to is if you both feel that living together first is the way to go, then do it. If you're not compatible you'll find out pretty quick.
I know it may seem like this is a little soon to be moving in together, I don't really have an answer to that other than when it's right, it's right. You have to remember that my parents were engaged a mere 4 weeks after they met. Not that that affects my decisions, I just know that when something is meant to be, things can happen quickly.
Believe me, I have given this a lot of thought (I'm not one for making rash decisions as I'm sure you all know). So a lot of careful consideration and discussion has gone on.
And if he does move in, it will likely not be for 2 or 3 months from now, so by then we will have been together for 6 or 7 months. Which still doesn't seem like very long, but what can I say, I feel like we have been together forever.
Yeah, I realize that. I know that you are not one to make rash decisions normally, but emotions do funny things. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it, that's entirely up to you. I'll have your back either way. :)
As long as you're happy, I'm happy.
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