Nearing the end of the month

The first couple of weeks of January went quite well (compared to December, which was hell). Then last week, things got very stressful again. But, I managed and there were no tears shed, which is improvement. It meant I had to work a bunch of extra hours, but I did what I needed to. And instead of thanking me for my effort, my boss thanked another guy for staying a couple of hours late one night to get the drawings done for one of the projects I’m working on. I laughed out loud when my boss thanked that guy and not me. He thanks him for putting in an extra 2 hours, but I get no thanks for putting in an extra 9 hours that one week when I have a toddler and child care arrangements to juggle? GRRRRR!

If it weren’t for the mentorship they are providing me, I would be outta here in a heartbeat. But, I am learning a lot from my mentor and am gaining valuable skills, so I want to stick it out here for at least a couple more months so I can learn all I can from my mentor.

In my meeting with my boss last month, he said probably 5 times during the meeting that the mentor is here to mentor the company, not me. So, that was drilled into my head. Then, I found out last week that the mentor said no to mentoring the company and only wanted to mentor me. Ha! Too bad for the company, but awesome for me!

In other news, our basement renovation is in full swing. We were originally planning to wait until spring, but my dad is off work right now and will be busy in the spring, so we decided to make use of his free time while he has it! So, he has been working on our basement for the last week and a half and we’re at the stage now where it is being primed. So, the painting can start early next week, most likely! I am hoping to have it almost done in time for Julie’s 3rd birthday party next weekend so we can show people.

When we bought the house, the basement was unfinished. We are finishing one area of the basement to make it into a home office. It will become my office if I decide to proceed with my own business.

Then eventually (as in sometime in the 5 years) we will finish the rest of the basement. Half of the remaining space will be a laundry and storage room and the other half will be a family/rec room. That’s the plan anyways.

For those who are keeping up with the law suit saga, we finally have a copy of my uncle’s affidavit of documents. I had to submit our documents in early December. The deadline was Dec 11, which is a court ordered deadline, so on Dec 12th, our lawyer phoned my uncle’s lawyer to get a copy of his affidavit. He responded with “oh, we haven’t done that yet, we’ll need some more time”. You’ve had months! Really made me mad that he could miss a deadline like that. But, he got his act together and submitted just before Christmas.

So, we got a copy of the documents last week. All in all, he really doesn’t have anything. He has some statements from one select group of Oma’s friends (whom she was estranged from for awhile) which basically explain Oma’s deterioration with dementia. One even went so far as to suggest elder abuse on the part of my mother because she found rotting food in Oma’s fridge once and Oma smelled sometimes. The truth was Oma refused to shower most of the time and my mom did seek help for that very issue from the Alzheimer’s society. I fail to see how that is my mom’s fault. All the statements are dated within a couple days of each other, so I know my uncle solicited those statements. And they are dated the summer of 2009, when Oma was just beginning to seriously deteriorate, so it did take a little time before my mom clued into things and figured out how to handle things.

They also claim that my mom was isolating Oma from her family and friends, which is a total lie. Oma had a very active social life and never declined an invitation from this group of friends. So, I really have no idea how they can claim that. We can prove otherwise.

He also has a hand written note from Oma to her first lawyer stating she wants her Will reverted back to the previous version (i.e. the one Ken wants). But, that letter is not witnessed, so I’m sure my uncle dictated that to her. So, I’m not worried about that.

So, overall, given the evidence, I really think we have a stronger case. We are going to meet with our lawyer on Feb 16th to discuss things and we’ll see what he says.

A new year, new beginning

Well the situation at work got much worse since my last post. December was an awful month at work with many tears and me wanting to storm out and quit. I felt like I was being blamed for things that weren't my fault and I basically felt completely incompetent, which is not a feeling I am used to!

I decided to talk to one of my coworkers about this in mid-December. He is one of the 4 senior managers, so he has lots of 'pull' in the company and he and I have been friends since I started 8 years ago. So, he is probably the coworker I am most close to. So, I asked him if we could go for lunch and talk. I was completely honest with him about how I was feeling and that I didn't think I was being treated fairly. I also told him I was concerned about being fired over this and he told me that won't happen. So, I was relieved to hear that - I was feeling like I better find another job quickly before they fired me, but knowing that they weren't going to fire me took the pressure off to find something else quickly.

He was very understanding about the whole situation and was completely on my side. He suggested I also talk to the head of HR about my concerns, which I did the following week. She was also very supportive and suggested I meet with the president of the company and another senior PM involved so I could have a chance to voice my concerns because up until that point, I felt like I wasn't being heard. I agreed to the meeting and asked that the head of HR also be present.

So, that meeting happened the Tuesday before the Christmas break. What an awful experience. This was a meeting I called - it started out well, I had notes about what I wanted to say, so I was able to get through all that. Although, I still don't think they really got it. Then the meeting basically turned into a discussion of my weaknesses and resulted in me being demoted - again. I am now in the same position I was 8 months ago before my big promotion last May. I left that meeting feeling completely deflated and like a piece of garbage. I think they need to learn how to manage people better because you don't just beat someone down and then end the meeting. I am willing to accept criticism, but they should have ended the meeting on a high note. Instead, I left feeling completely useless and went to the bathroom and cried.

Over the Christmas break, I decided to just put that all behind me and start fresh in January. I made myself a deadline of the end of January to see if things can turn around a little bit or not. If I am still miserable at the end of the month, I will seriously consider other employment options. As of the end of December, they have hired a mentor for me on a casual, as-needed basis and he is the in town guru in this subject area (and I worked with him for 3 co-op terms and he and his family also go to our church, so I do already know him). So, I am feeling hopeful that things can turn around. If not, I can leave with no regrets or guilt because I don't owe them anything.

I know I can't go on like things were in December - I was crying all the time and completely miserable to the point I dreaded going into work.

Onto happy things - we had a great Christmas. Julie was so excited and everyone spoiled her. I was spoiled too - Carlos bought me a blackberry playbook and then I bought myself a Kobo on Boxing Day since it was an awesome deal. I love both my new gadgets ;)

I can't believe how much Julie is growing up. She will be 3 in less than a month! She amazes me with her vocabulary every day! As much as I hate my job these days, I keep trying to focus on the fact that my most important jobs are being a wife and mother, so Carlos' and Julie's opinion of me is WAY more important than my boss. It's just a job - Carlos and Julie are my life.