I had my meeting with my boss yesterday in which I told him I would like to work part time. He said he wasn't expecting that and he would have to think it over and talk to senior staff to see what they thought. I made it very clear that I was willing to take work home with me if there was something that really couldn't wait until I was back in the office. Turns out they just hired a hydrogeologist/senior project manager last week and he is in my former office. Which means when I go back, I won't have my own office anymore, I would be sharing. I couldn't expect them to keep my office for me, but when October came around and it was still empty, I thought there was a good chance I'd get it back! Oh well. If I am going to be part-time, I am totally okay with sharing an office since I won't be there all the time.
I told my boss I am flexible on the details but that I would work a minimum of 3 days per week and he agreed that 3 days in a row would probably be best for the company, so we're thinking Wed/Thurs/Fri. He seemed positive, so I am sure he will come back saying it is fine. He asked me whether this was just in transition or whether this would be my new hours permanently and I really couldn't answer that. I don't know whether I will be back full time down the road or if I want part time forever (at least until kids are in school).
The meeting yesterday really made me realize something: I don't want to go back to work at all. Which doesn't make rational sense since I like my job and love the people I work with. I just felt this tug on my heart saying that I don't wan to leave Julie at all. I would love to find some sort of job where I can work from home. That just doesn't seem to be an option right now.
So I am feeling very lost because I'm not sure if my boss will agree to part-time and if he doesn't, I'm not sure I will say yes to full-time, in which case I will be out of a job. I would be very surprised if they let me go, but on the other hand, I don't even want to go back. It's just a money thing. So, I'm feeling a little lost.
7 comments:
I can completely sympathize with how you are feeling right now...
Considering how you've spoken of your company in the past and how they seemed, in those descriptions, to really value you I am honestly a little shocked that your conversation with your boss didn't go as smoothly as one might have hoped.
I can also empathize with you feeling lost. That is exactly how I felt when I returned to work. I know what I want to do with my life... I want to be a SAHM. There are a lot of people who will (and do) look down thier nose at me for feeling that way. But, quite honestly, it's not thier life. It took me quite a while to get into any kind of routine with work... and I still hate taking Logan to daycare in the morning (even though I found an amazing one and most days he loves going).
You need to do what is right for you and your family. Have you talked with Carlos about how you're feeling? I really hate that a lot of major decisions in life come down to the all mighty dollar... it sucks.
*hugs, hugs & more hugs* I know it's hard but hopefully you will find a situation that brings you some peace. Feel free to give me a call or message me on FB if you want to chat...
Thanks. I also would love nothing more than to be a SAHM. I am hoping that by the time I have baby #2, that might be a more real possibility for us. It is just not possible right now in terms of our finances.
Before I had Julie, I really thought I would be a career woman and being a SAHM was the last thing on my mind. Having Julie changed everything; my priorities have completely changed! I HATE to leave her; I think me going back to work will be WAY harder on my than it will be on her!
I did talk to Carlos about how I am feeling and he feels badly that we can't survive on his income alone. But in these hard economic times, we need to be thankful that he has a job at all! He totally supports me and he would love it if I could be a SAHM. So, I think we will try to plan for that for after our next baby comes along.
I am in a lucky situation that Julie will not be in daycare, she will be with granny nanny. My mom is teaching all evenings, so she is available during the day to babysit. And I do have a home daycare lined up for Julie on an as needed basis if my mom is unavailable on a particular day.
I was hoping my boss would be more positive about me working part time. I have a feeling that once he talks to the other senior staff and has a chance to think about it, he'll come around. I just hope he doesn't leave me hanging too long!
Quite honestly... money was the motivating factor to my return to work after Logan was born. JB took a huge paycut (I'm talking half his salary) to switch to a job where he could be home more. I do miss the money... but I wouldn't trade that decision for anything in the world. Since that time we've adjusted things and I'm (slowly) becoming better at budgeting (still not 100% perfect). By the end of 2010, we shall see what the situation is...
Money is the root of all evil. Bah!
:( I hope the boss comes around. I think it is quite normal for women to want to either stay at home or work part time when they have kids. I think that is especially true in a demanding job like engineering. I know I want to do the same when we have kids.
Sorry C-dub. :(
You know, I agree with Niki. Considering the way your company has always treated you, I'm surprised that your boss didn't see this coming at all.
I don't know how anyone goes back to work after being off for a year. I wouldn't want to go back. And that's not even counting the attachment to a baby to consider, let alone Julie (who I always have a hard time leaving and she's not even mine... :)).
Is there any possibility that you could do contract work? As in, you work on a project basis, writing reports or reviewing them but on contract so you can work whatever hours as long as you get the work done?
My former boss (jerk that he was) does this. He acts as a peer-reviewer or helps write reports for other companies, on contract.
Just a thought. I have no idea how one would get into that. :S
((hugs))
I just thought of a question...
Are you the first person in your company / office to take maternity leave?
The answer is yes and no. We used to be a branch of a very large company and when we were that company, we did have one woman in our department take maternity leave. She took the year off and then came back full time, but she promptly took all her vacation time as soon as she was back from mat leave and then quit. So, I can't really use her as an example.
Since we have been our own company, which has been about 3.5 years now, I am the first to go on mat leave.
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