We had a great time at the Toronto Zoo on Friday. It was a gorgeous day and I finally got to see the Tundra exhibit – yay for polar bears! Julie was WAY more interested in looking at the other kids and not so interested in the animals… except for the monkeys – she loved them!

On Saturday, something happened that made us realize that Oma has deteriorated even more to the point now that she will need to be with someone all the time when she’s awake. Mom had a fitness class, so she was gone from the house for 1 hour. My dad was home so Oma wasn’t there by herself. My brother Thom was in the dragonboat races out of town, but for some reason Oma thought they were in town. She went to ask my dad several times if he could take her there and he kept telling her the races were out of town, but she kept forgetting and thought they were in town.

My mom came home from her fitness class and was going to take Oma to go pick up a prescription and Oma was nowhere to be found. Dad said he hadn’t seen her in awhile, but thought she just went to lie down. Mom looked everywhere, but no Oma. She also noticed that her purse and cane were missing, so Oma must have left. My dad said he didn’t see a vehicle come, so they had no idea if she just wandered off or what happened.

Just when my mom was getting hysterical and thinking she may have to call the police, Oma came home and she was crying. She told my mom that she wanted to go see Thom in the races and started walking to the spot she thought the race was. We do have dragonboat races there every June, but Oma did not understand that Thom was in a race out of town. We have no idea how far she walked before she turned around. She was very upset that she couldn’t find Thom.

Now we don’t know what to do because we can’t have Oma wandering off. She could get mugged or something… I’m sure there are people out there that prey on the elderly because they can’t defend themselves. And the area she was walking in is not the best area.

My mom doesn’t know what to do because now she feels like she can never leave Oma and she obviously has to leave her to go to work. Luckily, there is a support group here in town for caregivers of people with Alzheimer’s/dementia, so my mom is going to go to the next gathering and I really hope she gets some good advice and support there.

Glad that's overwith!

We went for Julie's Echo Cardiogram this morning. It was basically a very detailed ultrasound of her heart. The hardest part was she had to sit still! Trying to get a 7.5 month old to sit still for 45 minutes while being poked and prodded was no easy task! But, they finally got all the measurements and we'll get the results at our next appointment with the pediatrician on October 8th.

Julie still has a bit of a cold, so I'm not sure whether to take her to her music class this morning. I would hate for her to miss it since she enjoys it so much, I'm just not sure how the other moms would like it if I brought her since she is still sniffling a bit. But I doubt she is contagious anymore. Hmmmm... dilemma.

A couple weeks ago, we had some family portraits done. We did some 4 generation pics with Julie, me, my mom, and Oma. We also did some of Carlos, Julie, and me... some of Julie and me, and some adorable ones of just Julie. I get to pick them up tomorrow and I can't wait!!!! I will try to scan some in so I can post them on Facebook because some of them are just TOO CUTE!

We're all miserable around here!

Last weekend, Julie was a grumpy girl because of teething, this weekend she has her first cold! It started Thursday evening when I noticed she was coughing and had a bit of a stuffy nose. She also woke up several times during the night on Thursday night, which is a rarity around here, she usually sleeps though the night. Yesterday, she was obviously uncomfortable and very congested. Which makes breastfeeding difficult since she needs to be able to breathe through her nose! I used some saline drops and a bulb syringe thingy to try to clear her nose a bit. It is working well enough for her to be able to nurse, but I feel so helpless that there isn't much I can do to help her. Last night she slept with us in our bed since she was waking up every hour or two. Poor ju-jube.

She is looking slightly better this afternoon, but she's still quite congested. She had a mild fever yesterday, but that was gone today. So, I hope she is on the mend!

And an update on the situation with my uncle... we are not sure if we will proceed with mediation since she charges $200/hour and wants a $2,000 deposit. Oma keeps saying she's not going to pay $2,000 to talk to her son, so I'm not really sure how we are going to proceed. We are willing to participate in the process, but we're just not sure who is going to pay for it. And my mom is not speaking to my uncle, so we can't ask him what he thinks about it. I think my mom may talk to the mediator and ask if she has any indication from my uncle whether he would be willing to pay for it.

Perhaps a family meeting would be better since it won't cost any money? And we could ask a friend of Oma's to be there as a '3rd party'. Although most of Oma's friends want to stay out of it, so I'm not sure if we would find anyone. And we're not really sure if we should put Oma through that since she gets really upset easily and even has trouble breathing when she even thinks about my uncle, so I can't imagine how she would be if there was a heated discussion going on. What a mess! I just want this to all be over and move on! It has pretty much ruined our summer and I don't want it to ruin our fall as well!

Oh, the pain

Poor Julie is not her usual happy self right now. Her second tooth is coming in and is giving her a lot of grief! Poor girl! We have her some baby tylenol one night when she was having a particularly difficult time and that helped her sleep. I wish there was more I can do to help! She was so unhappy on the weekend that we had to cancel going to a wedding on Saturday evening. Luckily, we were only invited to the dance portion, so we didn't have to RSVP or anything, so I felt a little better. I was planning to go after we got Julie to sleep, but she didn't get so sleep until midnight that night!

On to other baby related things... we have been using cloth diapers for the last few days and I love them! I have been meaning to give them a try for awhile, and we finally are giving it a go. I got a gift certificate for a month free of our diaper service in town, so we are doing that right now and after our free month is up, I think I will buy some of my own and wash them at home (I can't see paying $110 plus tax per month for the service).

Oh, Julie calls!

The good, bad, and ugly

The good: we had a lovely weekend at the cottage. Weather was gorgeous, mom and I swam around the point... good family times.

Julie is 7 months old now and I am blown away with how smart she is! She learned how to clap and loves it!

Carlos and I celebrated our second anniversary yesterday. It was lovely! We went to the place we had our wedding reception and had a lovely dinner and then walked around the grounds and took some pictures.

The bad: On Sunday, my uncle got his 10 year old son involved as a pawn. He got his son to call Oma at the cottage and when Oma asked him when they were coming to visit her, he said he was going to come and pick her up to take her to their cottage. When they showed up (it was all 3 of his sons), we thought perfect, they can visit with Oma here like she wants! But the 10 year old insisted on taking Oma to their cottage and even said "my dad told me to bring her to our cottage because he wants to talk to her there". So, he had obviously been trained. My cousin looked very uncomfortable that he had to say that. So, we weren't about to get them involved, but they did stay to visit for awhile. Until their mom called to see if they were on their way (I guess she was worried that Oma was putting up a fight about going to their cottage). She ended up going and stayed for a couple hours. My uncle and aunt dropped her off and Carlos and I were sitting on the deck when they came and they totally snubbed us. I waved and they totally ignored me. So, I guess they are mad at me too. The night before, there was a big party at the marina, and they ignored my brother, so I guess they are not speaking to our entire family.

The ugly: we had the appointment with Oma's lawyer yesterday. It actually went quite well. The ugly part is he informed us that my uncle has hired a lawyer and his lawyer has been in touch with Oma's lawyer. I suspect my uncle hired a lawyer because he couldn't get any information from Oma directly about Will changes, so he thought he'd try another route. His lawyer talked to Oma's lawyer and because of client confidentiality, Oma's lawyer couldn't tell him any specifics about any documents he is preparing, but he did say that Oma has been in to see him and he recommended a capacity assessment and that she passed that. So, basically, my uncle wouldn't have a case if he tried to contest the Will.

The good thing is, a couple weeks ago, my mom walked in on my uncle talking to Oma and he was asking her "are you trying to change your Will? What changes are you trying to make"? Luckily, Oma didn't remember, so she said she wasn't making any changes to her Will.

The new Will was signed yesterday, so that is good. Only took 3 months! But, I'm really glad the lawyer insisted on a capacity assessment because now we know my uncle will contest it when the time comes for sure. And he won't have a case.

I am really relieved that the Will is now changed. That doesn't help us with the day to day life though and all the stress my uncle is causing. The lawyer recommended mediation, which is what we are moving ahead with now. It will be Oma, my uncle, my mom, and me involved in that and initially, the mediator will meet with us all separately. So, I'm sure that will take place in the next couple of weeks. It really offends me that my uncle thinks I would lie for my mom, but the mediator is the professional, so she will listen to everyone and then come up with some sort of plan with how we can move forward.

Am I crazy?

Here is the latest: my uncle apparently phoned Oma to invite her to his cottage. She didn’t remember this conversation, but my mom found some notes written on a newspaper to that effect, so she asked Oma if he had called. She remembered that he had called, but not which day he wanted to visit or any of the details. So, I emailed him and he is picking up Oma today to take her to his cottage until Saturday.

When I asked Oma about this yesterday, she said she didn’t want to go. I spent 6 hours with Oma yesterday, and every time she though of going, she would gasp for air and look very agitated and say that she doesn’t want to go. She would turn to my mom and say “please don’t make me go!” I was very worried about her since she was having problems breathing because she was so stressed out about this. She REALLY doesn’t want to see my uncle after what he’s done, but she does want to see her grandsons (they have not visited her at all this summer).

So, mom suggested that we invite her grandsons to her cottage for a visit this weekend since everyone will be at the lake. This made her feel much more comfortable and she was so relieved that she wouldn’t have to go to my uncle’s cottage.

I emailed my uncle and told him very clearly that Oma has decided not to go to his cottage since she doesn’t want to go away overnight, but that she would like his sons to visit her at her cottage.

He responded with “Oma will be fine with family, she went to Quebec City overnight, so this will be okay… please make sure she is ready as promised”. So, he is not listening.

I am going to visit a friend out of town this afternoon and one of mom’s friends lives very close to her, so I think we are all going to disappear this afternoon and I will drop mom and Oma off to visit mom’s friend while I am visiting with my friend. Since Oma clearly is having health issues over the thought of going to my uncle’s cottage, we have to step in and keep her safe. He will show up to pick her up and there will be nobody home. Which will make him furious, but it’s not my fault he didn’t listen to me when I told him Oma decided not to go! Sheesh!

Good thing Oma’s appointment with the lawyer is on Tuesday… that appointment can’t come soon enough!