I took Julie to a pediatrician today since we were referred there about the white dot on her nose. The pediatrician said it is nothing to worry about, we can have it removed if we want, but she recommends waiting until she is older. What she did notice however, is Julie has a heart murmur. Which of course sounds terrifying to me! Anything with the word 'heart' sounds very serious! She said most of the time, this is a problem that fixes itself as the child grows, but she has ordered an echo cardiogram just to be safe, which is scheduled for Sept. 22nd, but we won't get the results until her follow-up appointment on Oct. 8th. It's probably nothing serious, but of course I'm freaking out!
In happier news, Julie cut her very first tooth today!!!
Baby Age Ticker
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Busy few days!
Yesterday was my company's annual fun day. We started this tradition 4 years ago and usually, it is a triathlon (with events such as bowling, mini-golfing, go-karting, etc.). This year, we did the "Walk in the Clouds" in Haliburton Forest. It was AMAZING! First, we had to canoe across a lake, then hike through the forest (including climbing a hill called 'huff and puff'), then we started the canopy tour. It is a series of bridges (wooden planks with cables on either side to hold on to and we were also harnessed in attached to a cable above). The whole thing was 30 to 75 feet above ground and took about 1.5 hours to complete the whole course... it was SO awesome!!! I'm so glad I went! I took my mom and Oma along with me so they could babysit while I went on the tour (it was about 3.5 hours in total). It was so nice to catch up with my coworkers again.
Today, we went to Carlos' parents house and my parents and Oma were invited to come along. So that was fun. We even had a stop at a local marina to look for a pontoon boat for the cottage. Oma is having lots of trouble getting in and out of the boat now, so we're thinking we'll need something easier for her next year. So, my parents are in the market for a used pontoon boat. We figure now is the time to start looking and hopefully they'll find an awesome one by the spring.
Tomorrow, we are headed to Carlos' sister's house, so that will be fun. Just means the weekend is jam packed full of traveling!
Today, we went to Carlos' parents house and my parents and Oma were invited to come along. So that was fun. We even had a stop at a local marina to look for a pontoon boat for the cottage. Oma is having lots of trouble getting in and out of the boat now, so we're thinking we'll need something easier for her next year. So, my parents are in the market for a used pontoon boat. We figure now is the time to start looking and hopefully they'll find an awesome one by the spring.
Tomorrow, we are headed to Carlos' sister's house, so that will be fun. Just means the weekend is jam packed full of traveling!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Trying to lay low
We are trying to lay low for the time being with this whole situation with my uncle. Oma's lawyer is on vacation for the next 2 weeks, so we can't get anything done before then. Oma is at the point where she wants the Power of Attorney to take effect so she can't be held responsible for any decisions she makes. Which means if my uncle shows up to force her to sign anything, it won't be valid. She has an appointment with her lawyer in 2 weeks, so we just have to get through until then. The problem is, he won't leave Oma alone. Today, he called at least 6 times and the one time Oma answered, he got her really upset and confused. We don't know how to protect her from him... mom doesn't want to leave Oma alone incase he shows up, so we are literally taking Oma everywhere with us.
In the meantime, my uncle sent me an email today trying to get some answers about Oma's finances. Oma tells me it is none of his business, but if I tell him that, he could question Oma about it and she could completely change her mind and tell him whatever he wants to hear. So, I'm really stuck. I can't give him the answers he wants, but if I tell him why, he will question Oma about it and she will forget what she told me, making me look like a liar. But if I don't give him the info, it looks like I am intentionally withholding info. What a dilemma!
In happy news, Julie had her 6 month checkup today, and she is in perfect health. Here are her stats:
Weight: 17 lbs, 3 ounces
Length: 71 cm (28 inches)
Head Circumference: 44 cm
Here's one of my favourite pics of Julie:
In the meantime, my uncle sent me an email today trying to get some answers about Oma's finances. Oma tells me it is none of his business, but if I tell him that, he could question Oma about it and she could completely change her mind and tell him whatever he wants to hear. So, I'm really stuck. I can't give him the answers he wants, but if I tell him why, he will question Oma about it and she will forget what she told me, making me look like a liar. But if I don't give him the info, it looks like I am intentionally withholding info. What a dilemma!
In happy news, Julie had her 6 month checkup today, and she is in perfect health. Here are her stats:
Weight: 17 lbs, 3 ounces
Length: 71 cm (28 inches)
Head Circumference: 44 cm
Here's one of my favourite pics of Julie:
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Things are a million times worse now...
I am so upset... my poor mom!
This morning, we were figuring out what we could do to stop my uncle from badgering Oma, and we thought it would be best for Oma to write him a letter expressing her wishes since when she talks to him in person, she gets all confused and forgets what she wanted to say. So, we sat down this afternoon and drafted a letter together and we edited it many times until Oma said it was exactly what she wanted to say. Then we read it to her 3 times so she was sure it was what she wanted. The basis of it was that my uncle was not welcome on her property until he accepts Oma's wishes (that I am to manager her fiances) and apologizes to my mom for the allegations he made towards her. We have not yet sent the letter since we want someone impartial to this to witness it and talk to Oma when mom is out of the room to read her the letter and make sure it is what she wanted to say and ask her whether she is being forced.
Oma also told me several times this afternoon how he is not welcome at her house right now and even said she's not sure she can ever forgive him. She told my mom that she will do whatever it takes to protect her.
My uncle dropped by this afternoon and my mom told him that Oma said he is not welcome on the property. My uncle turned to Oma and said "did you say that"? And Oma's response was "of course not; you are welcome here anytime". My mom said she wrote a letter just an hour ago stating that he is not welcome and my uncle turned to Oma and asked "is that true?" and Oma said "Of course not, I didn't write a letter". My uncle laughed in my mom's face and said it must have been her that wrote the letter. So, Oma completely forgot everything from this afternoon and took my uncle's side.
Now my mom looks like a complete liar! She feels completely betrayed that Oma could say this morning that she will do anything to protect her and then only hours later, she throws her under the bus and takes my uncle's side. My uncle said in writing that he will spend every dime he has taking my mom through a bitter and expensive law suit.
So, now we have no idea what will happen. We don't really have a leg to stand on if Oma tells one thing to my mom and then the complete opposite to my uncle. We don't know how far he will take this. My mom is scared to go home in case he calls the police claiming elder abuse.
I think we are going to hold off on sending the letter since that will only make him even more mad and then he will definitely take legal action. We want to lay low until the new will is all signed and that's done. Mom sent Oma's lawyer a copy of my uncle's nasty email tonight saying that Oma is asking for his advice on how to proceed to make sure she is protected.
What an absolute nightmare!!!! I feel absolutely sick.
This morning, we were figuring out what we could do to stop my uncle from badgering Oma, and we thought it would be best for Oma to write him a letter expressing her wishes since when she talks to him in person, she gets all confused and forgets what she wanted to say. So, we sat down this afternoon and drafted a letter together and we edited it many times until Oma said it was exactly what she wanted to say. Then we read it to her 3 times so she was sure it was what she wanted. The basis of it was that my uncle was not welcome on her property until he accepts Oma's wishes (that I am to manager her fiances) and apologizes to my mom for the allegations he made towards her. We have not yet sent the letter since we want someone impartial to this to witness it and talk to Oma when mom is out of the room to read her the letter and make sure it is what she wanted to say and ask her whether she is being forced.
Oma also told me several times this afternoon how he is not welcome at her house right now and even said she's not sure she can ever forgive him. She told my mom that she will do whatever it takes to protect her.
My uncle dropped by this afternoon and my mom told him that Oma said he is not welcome on the property. My uncle turned to Oma and said "did you say that"? And Oma's response was "of course not; you are welcome here anytime". My mom said she wrote a letter just an hour ago stating that he is not welcome and my uncle turned to Oma and asked "is that true?" and Oma said "Of course not, I didn't write a letter". My uncle laughed in my mom's face and said it must have been her that wrote the letter. So, Oma completely forgot everything from this afternoon and took my uncle's side.
Now my mom looks like a complete liar! She feels completely betrayed that Oma could say this morning that she will do anything to protect her and then only hours later, she throws her under the bus and takes my uncle's side. My uncle said in writing that he will spend every dime he has taking my mom through a bitter and expensive law suit.
So, now we have no idea what will happen. We don't really have a leg to stand on if Oma tells one thing to my mom and then the complete opposite to my uncle. We don't know how far he will take this. My mom is scared to go home in case he calls the police claiming elder abuse.
I think we are going to hold off on sending the letter since that will only make him even more mad and then he will definitely take legal action. We want to lay low until the new will is all signed and that's done. Mom sent Oma's lawyer a copy of my uncle's nasty email tonight saying that Oma is asking for his advice on how to proceed to make sure she is protected.
What an absolute nightmare!!!! I feel absolutely sick.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
It never ends
Yesterday, my aunt and uncle took Oma out for lunch. Of course, my mom and I both thought that they just wanted to get her alone to talk about money instead of actually just wanting to spend time with her. Oma was going to tell them that I was looking after her fiances and they don't need to worry about it, but I think they got her all confused again. When my aunt came to drop her off, mom, Julie, and I were in the pool and she came out there to talk to us. The conversation started pleasant, until my aunt brought up the bills. I said I have them and I am looking after it. She was not happy and I got the impression that she thought I was being sneaky by keeping the bills at my house. I bought a file box last week and made labels with my label maker for each of her expenses so I can keep everything organized. I have no idea why she is upset with that, when she was looking after things, she took the bills to her house! The bottom line is, they won't accept that I am now looking after it. She said that Oma told them that she didn't want me looking after her finances, and when I asked Oma about that later, she said there is no way she would have said that, and that she does indeed want me to look after it. So, I think they just got her so confused that she didn't even know what she was saying.
So, my aunt started screaming at my mom. Good thing we were in the pool, so she couldn't get in our faces to yell at close range. She certainly tried to get as close as she could to my mom by coming right to the edge of the pool and croching down to yell at my mom as close as she could. My aunt said that my uncle is mad that "the kids" are taking advantage of Oma. My mom said "what kids?" My aunt meant my mom, my brothers, and me. WHAT?!?! They think we are taking advantage of Oma? Oma keeps saying "what would I do without you?" We are the ones who look after her 99% of the time! My mom looks after her full time! We spend every day with her and my mom takes care of her meds, invites her over for almost all her meals, drives her to do errands, does her laundry, cleans her house, etc, etc, etc! I can't believe they think we are taking advantage of Oma! Well, my aunt stormed off all mad. I'm not sure what they will try now... My guess is they will try to take legal action against us. They are going to be LIVID when they find out they no longer have Power of Attorney! What a mess!
The problem is my uncle is a bully. When my mom told my aunt that she didn't want to meet with my uncle because he's a bully, her response was "Well the same could be said about you!" You all know my mom and she is ANYTHING but a bully!!! The first time in her entire life she is standing up to him to protect Oma and she gets called a bully. Since my uncle is such a bully, he gets Oma all rattled and confused so then she'll say anything to keep the peace. I think perhaps she needs to write him a letter explaining that she does indeed want me to look after her finances and that he needs to respect that and stay out of it. But that he is welcome to visit her for fun. He won't accept that, he says he has a legal responsibility to manage her assets. HUH? Even if he was still co-PoA, that only takes effect when she is no longer capable of making decisions. Which he thinks is now, but she is perfectly capable of still making decisions!
It is so sad. All he cares about is money. He is so worried that Oma is spending all her money and there won't be anything left for his inheritance. Our attitude is that Oma has worked hard her whole life, if she wants to spend her money, she can!
And if this wasn't enough drama for yesterday, Carlos found out that his (former) friends' wedding was on the weekend. I have never seen him so upset. He is so hurt that he was excluded and doesn't even know why. His friends are complete jerks and he doesn't deserve this; he is the nicest guy in the world!!!
So, my aunt started screaming at my mom. Good thing we were in the pool, so she couldn't get in our faces to yell at close range. She certainly tried to get as close as she could to my mom by coming right to the edge of the pool and croching down to yell at my mom as close as she could. My aunt said that my uncle is mad that "the kids" are taking advantage of Oma. My mom said "what kids?" My aunt meant my mom, my brothers, and me. WHAT?!?! They think we are taking advantage of Oma? Oma keeps saying "what would I do without you?" We are the ones who look after her 99% of the time! My mom looks after her full time! We spend every day with her and my mom takes care of her meds, invites her over for almost all her meals, drives her to do errands, does her laundry, cleans her house, etc, etc, etc! I can't believe they think we are taking advantage of Oma! Well, my aunt stormed off all mad. I'm not sure what they will try now... My guess is they will try to take legal action against us. They are going to be LIVID when they find out they no longer have Power of Attorney! What a mess!
The problem is my uncle is a bully. When my mom told my aunt that she didn't want to meet with my uncle because he's a bully, her response was "Well the same could be said about you!" You all know my mom and she is ANYTHING but a bully!!! The first time in her entire life she is standing up to him to protect Oma and she gets called a bully. Since my uncle is such a bully, he gets Oma all rattled and confused so then she'll say anything to keep the peace. I think perhaps she needs to write him a letter explaining that she does indeed want me to look after her finances and that he needs to respect that and stay out of it. But that he is welcome to visit her for fun. He won't accept that, he says he has a legal responsibility to manage her assets. HUH? Even if he was still co-PoA, that only takes effect when she is no longer capable of making decisions. Which he thinks is now, but she is perfectly capable of still making decisions!
It is so sad. All he cares about is money. He is so worried that Oma is spending all her money and there won't be anything left for his inheritance. Our attitude is that Oma has worked hard her whole life, if she wants to spend her money, she can!
And if this wasn't enough drama for yesterday, Carlos found out that his (former) friends' wedding was on the weekend. I have never seen him so upset. He is so hurt that he was excluded and doesn't even know why. His friends are complete jerks and he doesn't deserve this; he is the nicest guy in the world!!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Finally, some summer weather!
The pool still isn't too warm, but I was tired of waiting, so I went swimming yesterday and the day before. It was actually quite nice once I got used to the temperature. Mom bought a little kiddie pool for Julie. The first time, she cried only being in up to her ankles, but yesterday, she was actually enjoying it. She actually sat down in the water and the water was up to her waist, so that's improvement!
The situation with my aunt and uncle is still ongoing. As of the weekend, Oma asked me to look after her finances instead of them (my aunt expressed on Friday that she didn't want to do it anymore, so that was the perfect opportunity for me to step in). Well, I sent them a very nice email thanking her for all her help, but that I will be taking it over. Well, my uncle sends back a 5 page email thanking me for my offer to help and saying how he has a legal responsibility to make sure Oma's assets are being properly managed. He doesn't know that he no longer is co-PoA or executor of the Will, but regardless, even if he still was, he has no right to take over - Oma is still capable of making decisions! She just can't handle the stress of day to day banking and making sure her bills are paid. But my uncle wants to have control and tell her what she can and can't spend her money on and says that we all have to pay her back for gifts she has given us - the nerve!!!
So, yesterday, we went to the bank and I now have online access to all Oma's accounts, so I can see when her bills are paid (almost all of them are on automatic payment) and when her income gets deposited. So, now I can look after it for her. I sent my aunt and uncle a nice email thanking them for all the info they have provided me in the last couple of days and that I will take care of it from now on, as per Oma's request. I wonder how they will respond to that one!!! I hope we don't have to go as far as telling them they don't have co-PoA, because then they will make Oma's life a living hell. Perhaps they will back off, but I doubt it! And my aunt can still see all the bank transactions since it is actually a joint account with her, so hopefully being able to check to make sure all the bills are paid will be enough for them. What a nightmare!
The insurance is all taken care of, we went to the office on Tuesday and were in and out in 20 minutes, so I have NO IDEA why that wasn't done 2 months ago!!! The fact that my aunt and uncle left Oma's house, my parents' house, and the cottage go completely uninsured for 2 months without telling anyone is completely ridiculous!!! That's why Oma wants to "fire" them from looking after the bills. That and the fact that they never keep her informed. They only see her a handful of times a year, and she really needs a more hands on approach. Someone who can tell her on a near daily basis if she has money or not.
What a mess! I hope we can get the changes to the Will made by the end of this month, and then we can finally put this all behind us! Of course, until my uncle finds out, then it will be WW3!! We don't want to deliberately hide things from him, but if we don't, he will badger Oma and guilt her into leaving everything to him. Sigh, family drama!
The situation with my aunt and uncle is still ongoing. As of the weekend, Oma asked me to look after her finances instead of them (my aunt expressed on Friday that she didn't want to do it anymore, so that was the perfect opportunity for me to step in). Well, I sent them a very nice email thanking her for all her help, but that I will be taking it over. Well, my uncle sends back a 5 page email thanking me for my offer to help and saying how he has a legal responsibility to make sure Oma's assets are being properly managed. He doesn't know that he no longer is co-PoA or executor of the Will, but regardless, even if he still was, he has no right to take over - Oma is still capable of making decisions! She just can't handle the stress of day to day banking and making sure her bills are paid. But my uncle wants to have control and tell her what she can and can't spend her money on and says that we all have to pay her back for gifts she has given us - the nerve!!!
So, yesterday, we went to the bank and I now have online access to all Oma's accounts, so I can see when her bills are paid (almost all of them are on automatic payment) and when her income gets deposited. So, now I can look after it for her. I sent my aunt and uncle a nice email thanking them for all the info they have provided me in the last couple of days and that I will take care of it from now on, as per Oma's request. I wonder how they will respond to that one!!! I hope we don't have to go as far as telling them they don't have co-PoA, because then they will make Oma's life a living hell. Perhaps they will back off, but I doubt it! And my aunt can still see all the bank transactions since it is actually a joint account with her, so hopefully being able to check to make sure all the bills are paid will be enough for them. What a nightmare!
The insurance is all taken care of, we went to the office on Tuesday and were in and out in 20 minutes, so I have NO IDEA why that wasn't done 2 months ago!!! The fact that my aunt and uncle left Oma's house, my parents' house, and the cottage go completely uninsured for 2 months without telling anyone is completely ridiculous!!! That's why Oma wants to "fire" them from looking after the bills. That and the fact that they never keep her informed. They only see her a handful of times a year, and she really needs a more hands on approach. Someone who can tell her on a near daily basis if she has money or not.
What a mess! I hope we can get the changes to the Will made by the end of this month, and then we can finally put this all behind us! Of course, until my uncle finds out, then it will be WW3!! We don't want to deliberately hide things from him, but if we don't, he will badger Oma and guilt her into leaving everything to him. Sigh, family drama!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Oh the drama!
The situation with my aunt and uncle is still going. On Friday, I stopped in to see Oma and my aunt was there. At first, our conversation went well, but then she brought up Oma's finances. She said she didn't want to look after it anymore, and I do understand that she feels caught in the middle. She wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise, just went on this big speech about how our entire family is jealous of them because they have lots of money and assets and that's why there is tension between our families. WHAT?!?! She couldn't be further off the mark! She also accused me of trying to keep things from her and asked me if someone had called me to let me know she was there and I came running to protect Oma... huh?
She also said something about the house and the cottage not being insured right now. And my uncle called Oma this morning to tell her to go to her insurance company. Ummm, she doesn't drive... how is she supposed to get there? My mom called the insurance company and they said Oma's policies have been cancelled since they haven't been paid since June and they have been talking to my aunt as the contact person on the account! WHAT! For the last 2 months, both the cottage and house have not been insured. My aunt and uncle came by in mid-June to look after the bills, and when they left, they said everything was up to date and paid. Now we find out they were lying and the insurance has been cancelled?!?!?! That not only puts Oma at risk, but also my mom's house since they are all under the same policy! And my aunt and uncle didn't even think to tell anyone this?!?! My mom and Oma are livid, but this gives us the perfect opportunity to tell my aunt that she is no longer going to handle Oma's financial affairs. She told me she didn't want to do this anymore when I saw her on Friday anyway, so this is the perfect time to tell them I will be taking this over. So, mom, Oma, and I have an appointment tomorrow morning to set up a new insurance policy.
And if my aunt and uncle get all offended, we'll have to tell them that my mom has sole power of attorney and they need to butt out.
In related news, Oma had her capacity assessment done on Saturday and she passed with flying colours. This test was to see whether she has the mental capacity to make decisions and understand the ramifications of her decisions (i.e. changing her Will). So, now she can finally have the changes to her Will made and we can put this all behind us for now... here's hoping, anyways!
She also said something about the house and the cottage not being insured right now. And my uncle called Oma this morning to tell her to go to her insurance company. Ummm, she doesn't drive... how is she supposed to get there? My mom called the insurance company and they said Oma's policies have been cancelled since they haven't been paid since June and they have been talking to my aunt as the contact person on the account! WHAT! For the last 2 months, both the cottage and house have not been insured. My aunt and uncle came by in mid-June to look after the bills, and when they left, they said everything was up to date and paid. Now we find out they were lying and the insurance has been cancelled?!?!?! That not only puts Oma at risk, but also my mom's house since they are all under the same policy! And my aunt and uncle didn't even think to tell anyone this?!?! My mom and Oma are livid, but this gives us the perfect opportunity to tell my aunt that she is no longer going to handle Oma's financial affairs. She told me she didn't want to do this anymore when I saw her on Friday anyway, so this is the perfect time to tell them I will be taking this over. So, mom, Oma, and I have an appointment tomorrow morning to set up a new insurance policy.
And if my aunt and uncle get all offended, we'll have to tell them that my mom has sole power of attorney and they need to butt out.
In related news, Oma had her capacity assessment done on Saturday and she passed with flying colours. This test was to see whether she has the mental capacity to make decisions and understand the ramifications of her decisions (i.e. changing her Will). So, now she can finally have the changes to her Will made and we can put this all behind us for now... here's hoping, anyways!
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Great cottage weekend
I had a great time at the cottage with Carlos and Julie. It was too bad that lj and nej didn't end up coming, but I'm glad we have rescheduled for a few weeks from now.
That was the first time we've been to the cottage just the 3 of us and it was so nice to have a little vacation. It was so quiet and peaceful! I enjoyed every moment! Until we were about halfway home and I realized I forgot to turn off the pump and hot water tank. So, we had to turn around and go back. We spent a little extra time at the cottage that way ;)
I am struggling with something and I'm not really sure how to handle it. Oma wants to see Julie all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she cares. I just think the second we walk out the door, she has forgotten that we have visited and is desperate for another visit. We went to visit yesterday after getting home from the cottage even though we were both tired. Well, a half hour after getting home from visiting her, she calls to ask if we could come back for another visit! I really wanted to have today at home to just get caught up on laundry and spend some time with just Julie, and Oma has already called saying she misses Julie and asking for us to come for a visit. Am I crazy for wanting a break from Oma? I realized this weekend that my maternity leave is more than half over, and I have spent almost all of my time either looking after Julie or trying to make Oma happy. Am I being selfish for wanting some time alone with my daughter? I don't want to sound ungrateful, I am happy that mom and Oma live so close and want to spend time with us, I just don't like being made to feel guilty if I don't want to visit every single day! So, I'm going to have to start saying no some of the time, but I know what's going to happen if I do that... she will start crying and begging. I will still visit of course, I just can't do every day anymore. Any advice on how I can get the point across that I want time alone with my daughter without hurting any feelings?
That was the first time we've been to the cottage just the 3 of us and it was so nice to have a little vacation. It was so quiet and peaceful! I enjoyed every moment! Until we were about halfway home and I realized I forgot to turn off the pump and hot water tank. So, we had to turn around and go back. We spent a little extra time at the cottage that way ;)
I am struggling with something and I'm not really sure how to handle it. Oma wants to see Julie all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she cares. I just think the second we walk out the door, she has forgotten that we have visited and is desperate for another visit. We went to visit yesterday after getting home from the cottage even though we were both tired. Well, a half hour after getting home from visiting her, she calls to ask if we could come back for another visit! I really wanted to have today at home to just get caught up on laundry and spend some time with just Julie, and Oma has already called saying she misses Julie and asking for us to come for a visit. Am I crazy for wanting a break from Oma? I realized this weekend that my maternity leave is more than half over, and I have spent almost all of my time either looking after Julie or trying to make Oma happy. Am I being selfish for wanting some time alone with my daughter? I don't want to sound ungrateful, I am happy that mom and Oma live so close and want to spend time with us, I just don't like being made to feel guilty if I don't want to visit every single day! So, I'm going to have to start saying no some of the time, but I know what's going to happen if I do that... she will start crying and begging. I will still visit of course, I just can't do every day anymore. Any advice on how I can get the point across that I want time alone with my daughter without hurting any feelings?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)