My ex just added me as a ‘friend’ on facebook. So, I’m not sure whether I should ‘accept’ or ‘reject’ him. We broke up 5.5 years ago, and since then, I have only seen him once (5 years ago), and we have exchanged a handful of emails, the most recent being a few months ago. He has always been the one to initiate communication. He lives in Utah.
He is married (on his 2nd wife actually) and knows I’m getting married (I am still good friends with his parents and see them every month or two, they live about 5 minutes away from me).
What would you do in this situation? I don’t really have a desire to keep up contact with him, but I’m not totally opposed to the idea either. I just think since we’ve both moved on, why keep up with the whole small-talk, pretend to be friends thing? I am no longer bitter about what he did, that was so long ago, all water under the bridge. I am much better off now. But, I really don’t want to be friends with him either. For the main reason that he went completely psycho when we broke up, so I’m really not sure what he’s capable of. I have this vision of him showing up at my wedding trying to stop it or creating a scene. I’m sure he’s over me by now, but you never know with this guy.
I am leaning towards rejecting him. But should I tell him I’m rejecting him or just let him figure it out? How do I politely say “It’s been 5 years, I don’t see the point of keeping up communication”. Any advice?
Baby Age Ticker
4 comments:
Yuck! That sounds messy. I'd say reject him. I'm starting to learn that life is simply to short to be doing things 'just to be nice'. But I'm not on facebook and don't really know that much about it.
On the other hand, how would CT feel if he saw that he was added as a friend in facebook?
Or maybe you could add him in "limited preview" mode?
I would say not to add him. If you don't have an interest in keeping in contact with him, why bother with adding him. If you reject him on Facebook, he won't know that you rejected him, but it will look like you ignored his message. So, if you go that route, he will likely know that you have rejected him.
I agree with Eva though, if it's going to be messy or a potential problem for you to add him, then don't do it. It's not worth it.
The other option is to add him, see how it goes, and delete him if he gets weird. Oh, and don't let him see any info about where you live just in case. You can also limit what he sees in your profile as Eva suggested. So if you don't want him to read messages on your wall, or see your friend list, etc., you can do that.
Ya, that might be an idea to have him just be able to view certain things. I guess I shouldn't be so paranoid, I'm sure it would be fine.
He's probably just trying to connect with a bunch of people from our highschool.
I'll give it some thought. I also want to ask CT what he thinks because if he is at all uncomfortable with it (I'm not sure how I'd feel if his ex was on his friends list), then it's a no-go for sure. I have to put his feelings fist because although my ex is part of my past, CT is my present and future!
That's a sticky spot. If you don't feel comfortable adding him, then don't. Whatever you do, let us know what your decision was.
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