Roller Coaster

I think the reason I am having such a hard time with this is because Smokey is only just 1 year old. I have lost pets before, but in all those cases, it was a decision we made once the pet was old and no longer comfortable or had a disease that couldn’t be cured. We knew it was coming. This time, this has been a total shock. Everything was just fine… until Friday morning. That’s when it all changed. And the worst part is, they don’t know what causes urinary tract problems. And it’s not something easily fixed.

I thought he was getting better. He was doing great on the weekend. Then Monday, he was not doing well anymore. I sure am glad I left work early yesterday. I just knew I had to check on him, and sure enough, he had to go back to the vets.

Well, I decided to spend the extra $400 on the catheterization because I think my peace of mind is worth that much. There is a chance that it could work. If it doesn’t, then at least I know I did all I could for him. So, I won’t know anything more until tomorrow afternoon. They are going to put in the catheter for 24 hours and hope the fact that he can pass urine freely with that will help him so once they take it out, he will be able to urinate without problem.

Man, my coworkers must think there’s something seriously wrong because I have been teary all day. I just know if I try to talk about it, I will be sobbing uncontrollably, so I am trying my best to keep my mind off it. That’s not working too well. At least I get to go home in a couple of hours.

I’ve barely eaten anything all day. Last night, I cried all evening and then I slept in my clothes because I cried myself to sleep and just didn’t bother getting up to change. So, I’m pretty much a total mess. This up and down and waiting totally sucks. He was fine, then not, then somewhat fine again, now not. I hope the next thing on that list will be that he’s fine again!