The day from hell...

The day started out fine enough... it started to go downhill this afternoon. At about 4:56pm my mom phoned me to tell me that Daddy was in emerg...again. He has been in and out of the hospital like crazy over the last few years (brain tumour - still dealing with that, it's growing back, broken pelvis, etc, etc, etc). Today, he sliced the tip of his finger off. So, not life-threatening, thank goodness. But, it had me worried. Turns out he will be fine.

Then, I get home, eat dinner, and then go to check my email... and, low and behold, there is one from BD and the subject line is really long, but starts with "I'm really sorry, but"... and my heart sinks. I open the email and it is long and drawn out, but the long and short of it is... he is dumping me. BY EMAIL! I am so hurt and I can't even ask him why or find any answers since he did it by email. My heart is broken...again. I thought that one broken heart per person was enough. Just when I opened my heart to love again and really learned to trust a man after my broken engagement, my heart gets stomped on again. I am hurting so much I feel like I am going to throw up. Why does this keep happening to me?!?!?! I am a good catch! Any guy would be lucky to have me and I keep getting my heart broken.

And what gets me the most is that I was SO SURE that he was The One. I had never been more sure about anything in my whole life. I would have married him in a second if he asked me to. And I'm not one for rushing into things! Yet I was POSTITIVE that he was the guy for me. And to find out I was wrong all this time, I don't even know what to think about that.

I talked to my brother, since he just went through a recent thing a few months ago (a girl that he thought was The One dumped him for no apparent reason and broke his heart and he couldn't eat or sleep for days). So, it was good to talk to him about it. I asked him how he got over this incredible hurt and he said the very same thing I told him when he was going through this: "Just give it time". So, I know I will get over it and move on eventually, but that seems like an impossible task right now. I don't even know if/how I am going to go to work and function.

I hate this. How many more "wrong" men do I have to go through before I find the right one?!?! I am so done with relationships that end in heart-break! I do not want to get hurt again. Having my heart broken twice now is plenty enough. I don't know how I will ever be able to trust men again when it took me so long to get over my broken heart the first time.