Fishing in the desert...

I have been thinking a lot lately about the whole thing going on between me and NM. I think that in the long run, we would be better as friends. We are a lot alike in some ways, which is cool. But, there are a lot of times when he makes me want to pull my hair out. So, I thought, if he makes me so frustrated already, and we're not even a couple, there really is no chance of us making it. We just lacked an emotional connection, I think. I don't know if he is just super-shy or something, but he just seems so aloof about everything that it was driving me nuts. And I think I'm a fairly easy-going person. But, when you've been seeing someone for 2 months, you would expect a little "I miss you" or an "You look really good today" or something. But I get nothing, absolutely nothing. That and the fact that there have been a few red flags that have popped up recently. Like the fact that he doesn't dance, and will never try. That really sucks because one of my favorite things is dancing, and I just can't bare the thought of being with someone who is not even willing to try. He is also against drinking, so I think that would cause a problem down the road too. Because, as I'm sure you all know, I like to enjoy an alcoholic beverage (or 13) every now and then, and I think that if we were a couple, he may grow to resent that. And, I think we also have different views on what is important in a relationship. I believe that a good relationship is based on honesty, trust, and good communication is key. He is under the impression that you should never talk about things because that just complicates things. That makes no sense to me. So, I have given it some thought over the last few days, and prayed about it, and came to the conclusion that we should be friends. I still have every intention of spending time with him in the future, I do have a really good time when I'm with him, I just think we're missing that "spark".

Funny thing happened to me the other day. It was Monday night when I came to the "just be friends" conclusion. Then I was thinking, geez, I've been single for awhile now, and there seem to be no other potential boyfriends on the horizon, am I blowing my only shot at a relationship? Are there ever going to be other men? (I know it's rediculous, but this is just what was going through my head). So, I prayed about it and just asked God to reveal his will for this situation and to show me what I should do. Then I went to sleep. Then, on Tuesday morning, as soon as I got to work, like within minutes, one of my co-workers comes up to me to tell me that her roommate (whom I have met on two occasions at parties at their house) was asking her questions about me the night before. So, apparently, he is interested in me (otherwise why would be be asking?). Now, he is probably not someone I would consider dating (too much of a player, I think), but, how timely it was that not even 12 hours after I had been thinking that perhaps no men are interested in me, this guys shows interest. And, I haven't seen him since February! He just happened to pick the day I needed to hear it most to show his interest! I think that was definately a "God thing". Also, there is this guy who used to be interested in me (some of you may remember him as "Jeremy, but not the good looking one" [I have 2 friends named Jeremy]). Anyways, he used to be interested in me. I haven't seen him in over a year, and then on Tuesday he stopped by. Again, someone I would not consider dating, but just the ego-boost I needed at precisely the right time. Also, on the same day (what a Tuesday it was), mymom ran into one of my highschool crushes at a business breakfast and he told her that he saw me at my brother's concert on the weekend (I did not see him). I have no idea why he didn't come over to say hello, I haven't seen him in years, but it just reminded me of all the guys I have had in the past that have been interested in me. So, all this happened the day after I prayed about the situation with NM. God is so awesome!

Interesting, eh? So, about the title of my blog entry. It's something that my mom said. I guess I was complaining about the lack of eligible bachelors I am meeting and she said "well, you can't go fishing in the desert and complain you're not catching anything." It's true! Things were so much easier in the waterloo days, meeting guys all the time, surrounded by singles. Now, it seems like I'm not meeting anyone. But, I'm not really going to places where the single guys hang out. So, the age-old question...where does one go to meet eligible men? If I only knew the answer to that one... Who knows, I guess I just keep hoping that I will meet my dream man by some chance encounter (hey, it works sometimes! That's how my parents met and that's how I met my ex-fiance). So, I guess I just keep hoping that it will happen again. But, I guess I should give myself a kick in the pants and get out there where the men are.... If I only knew where "there" was. But, I'm gonna have to start looking.