Am I crazy?

Here is the latest: my uncle apparently phoned Oma to invite her to his cottage. She didn’t remember this conversation, but my mom found some notes written on a newspaper to that effect, so she asked Oma if he had called. She remembered that he had called, but not which day he wanted to visit or any of the details. So, I emailed him and he is picking up Oma today to take her to his cottage until Saturday.

When I asked Oma about this yesterday, she said she didn’t want to go. I spent 6 hours with Oma yesterday, and every time she though of going, she would gasp for air and look very agitated and say that she doesn’t want to go. She would turn to my mom and say “please don’t make me go!” I was very worried about her since she was having problems breathing because she was so stressed out about this. She REALLY doesn’t want to see my uncle after what he’s done, but she does want to see her grandsons (they have not visited her at all this summer).

So, mom suggested that we invite her grandsons to her cottage for a visit this weekend since everyone will be at the lake. This made her feel much more comfortable and she was so relieved that she wouldn’t have to go to my uncle’s cottage.

I emailed my uncle and told him very clearly that Oma has decided not to go to his cottage since she doesn’t want to go away overnight, but that she would like his sons to visit her at her cottage.

He responded with “Oma will be fine with family, she went to Quebec City overnight, so this will be okay… please make sure she is ready as promised”. So, he is not listening.

I am going to visit a friend out of town this afternoon and one of mom’s friends lives very close to her, so I think we are all going to disappear this afternoon and I will drop mom and Oma off to visit mom’s friend while I am visiting with my friend. Since Oma clearly is having health issues over the thought of going to my uncle’s cottage, we have to step in and keep her safe. He will show up to pick her up and there will be nobody home. Which will make him furious, but it’s not my fault he didn’t listen to me when I told him Oma decided not to go! Sheesh!

Good thing Oma’s appointment with the lawyer is on Tuesday… that appointment can’t come soon enough!

Okay, freaking out a bit here

I took Julie to a pediatrician today since we were referred there about the white dot on her nose. The pediatrician said it is nothing to worry about, we can have it removed if we want, but she recommends waiting until she is older. What she did notice however, is Julie has a heart murmur. Which of course sounds terrifying to me! Anything with the word 'heart' sounds very serious! She said most of the time, this is a problem that fixes itself as the child grows, but she has ordered an echo cardiogram just to be safe, which is scheduled for Sept. 22nd, but we won't get the results until her follow-up appointment on Oct. 8th. It's probably nothing serious, but of course I'm freaking out!

In happier news, Julie cut her very first tooth today!!!

Busy few days!

Yesterday was my company's annual fun day. We started this tradition 4 years ago and usually, it is a triathlon (with events such as bowling, mini-golfing, go-karting, etc.). This year, we did the "Walk in the Clouds" in Haliburton Forest. It was AMAZING! First, we had to canoe across a lake, then hike through the forest (including climbing a hill called 'huff and puff'), then we started the canopy tour. It is a series of bridges (wooden planks with cables on either side to hold on to and we were also harnessed in attached to a cable above). The whole thing was 30 to 75 feet above ground and took about 1.5 hours to complete the whole course... it was SO awesome!!! I'm so glad I went! I took my mom and Oma along with me so they could babysit while I went on the tour (it was about 3.5 hours in total). It was so nice to catch up with my coworkers again.

Today, we went to Carlos' parents house and my parents and Oma were invited to come along. So that was fun. We even had a stop at a local marina to look for a pontoon boat for the cottage. Oma is having lots of trouble getting in and out of the boat now, so we're thinking we'll need something easier for her next year. So, my parents are in the market for a used pontoon boat. We figure now is the time to start looking and hopefully they'll find an awesome one by the spring.

Tomorrow, we are headed to Carlos' sister's house, so that will be fun. Just means the weekend is jam packed full of traveling!

Trying to lay low

We are trying to lay low for the time being with this whole situation with my uncle. Oma's lawyer is on vacation for the next 2 weeks, so we can't get anything done before then. Oma is at the point where she wants the Power of Attorney to take effect so she can't be held responsible for any decisions she makes. Which means if my uncle shows up to force her to sign anything, it won't be valid. She has an appointment with her lawyer in 2 weeks, so we just have to get through until then. The problem is, he won't leave Oma alone. Today, he called at least 6 times and the one time Oma answered, he got her really upset and confused. We don't know how to protect her from him... mom doesn't want to leave Oma alone incase he shows up, so we are literally taking Oma everywhere with us.

In the meantime, my uncle sent me an email today trying to get some answers about Oma's finances. Oma tells me it is none of his business, but if I tell him that, he could question Oma about it and she could completely change her mind and tell him whatever he wants to hear. So, I'm really stuck. I can't give him the answers he wants, but if I tell him why, he will question Oma about it and she will forget what she told me, making me look like a liar. But if I don't give him the info, it looks like I am intentionally withholding info. What a dilemma!

In happy news, Julie had her 6 month checkup today, and she is in perfect health. Here are her stats:

Weight: 17 lbs, 3 ounces
Length: 71 cm (28 inches)
Head Circumference: 44 cm

Here's one of my favourite pics of Julie:

Things are a million times worse now...

I am so upset... my poor mom!

This morning, we were figuring out what we could do to stop my uncle from badgering Oma, and we thought it would be best for Oma to write him a letter expressing her wishes since when she talks to him in person, she gets all confused and forgets what she wanted to say. So, we sat down this afternoon and drafted a letter together and we edited it many times until Oma said it was exactly what she wanted to say. Then we read it to her 3 times so she was sure it was what she wanted. The basis of it was that my uncle was not welcome on her property until he accepts Oma's wishes (that I am to manager her fiances) and apologizes to my mom for the allegations he made towards her. We have not yet sent the letter since we want someone impartial to this to witness it and talk to Oma when mom is out of the room to read her the letter and make sure it is what she wanted to say and ask her whether she is being forced.

Oma also told me several times this afternoon how he is not welcome at her house right now and even said she's not sure she can ever forgive him. She told my mom that she will do whatever it takes to protect her.

My uncle dropped by this afternoon and my mom told him that Oma said he is not welcome on the property. My uncle turned to Oma and said "did you say that"? And Oma's response was "of course not; you are welcome here anytime". My mom said she wrote a letter just an hour ago stating that he is not welcome and my uncle turned to Oma and asked "is that true?" and Oma said "Of course not, I didn't write a letter". My uncle laughed in my mom's face and said it must have been her that wrote the letter. So, Oma completely forgot everything from this afternoon and took my uncle's side.

Now my mom looks like a complete liar! She feels completely betrayed that Oma could say this morning that she will do anything to protect her and then only hours later, she throws her under the bus and takes my uncle's side. My uncle said in writing that he will spend every dime he has taking my mom through a bitter and expensive law suit.

So, now we have no idea what will happen. We don't really have a leg to stand on if Oma tells one thing to my mom and then the complete opposite to my uncle. We don't know how far he will take this. My mom is scared to go home in case he calls the police claiming elder abuse.

I think we are going to hold off on sending the letter since that will only make him even more mad and then he will definitely take legal action. We want to lay low until the new will is all signed and that's done. Mom sent Oma's lawyer a copy of my uncle's nasty email tonight saying that Oma is asking for his advice on how to proceed to make sure she is protected.

What an absolute nightmare!!!! I feel absolutely sick.

It never ends

Yesterday, my aunt and uncle took Oma out for lunch. Of course, my mom and I both thought that they just wanted to get her alone to talk about money instead of actually just wanting to spend time with her. Oma was going to tell them that I was looking after her fiances and they don't need to worry about it, but I think they got her all confused again. When my aunt came to drop her off, mom, Julie, and I were in the pool and she came out there to talk to us. The conversation started pleasant, until my aunt brought up the bills. I said I have them and I am looking after it. She was not happy and I got the impression that she thought I was being sneaky by keeping the bills at my house. I bought a file box last week and made labels with my label maker for each of her expenses so I can keep everything organized. I have no idea why she is upset with that, when she was looking after things, she took the bills to her house! The bottom line is, they won't accept that I am now looking after it. She said that Oma told them that she didn't want me looking after her finances, and when I asked Oma about that later, she said there is no way she would have said that, and that she does indeed want me to look after it. So, I think they just got her so confused that she didn't even know what she was saying.

So, my aunt started screaming at my mom. Good thing we were in the pool, so she couldn't get in our faces to yell at close range. She certainly tried to get as close as she could to my mom by coming right to the edge of the pool and croching down to yell at my mom as close as she could. My aunt said that my uncle is mad that "the kids" are taking advantage of Oma. My mom said "what kids?" My aunt meant my mom, my brothers, and me. WHAT?!?! They think we are taking advantage of Oma? Oma keeps saying "what would I do without you?" We are the ones who look after her 99% of the time! My mom looks after her full time! We spend every day with her and my mom takes care of her meds, invites her over for almost all her meals, drives her to do errands, does her laundry, cleans her house, etc, etc, etc! I can't believe they think we are taking advantage of Oma! Well, my aunt stormed off all mad. I'm not sure what they will try now... My guess is they will try to take legal action against us. They are going to be LIVID when they find out they no longer have Power of Attorney! What a mess!

The problem is my uncle is a bully. When my mom told my aunt that she didn't want to meet with my uncle because he's a bully, her response was "Well the same could be said about you!" You all know my mom and she is ANYTHING but a bully!!! The first time in her entire life she is standing up to him to protect Oma and she gets called a bully. Since my uncle is such a bully, he gets Oma all rattled and confused so then she'll say anything to keep the peace. I think perhaps she needs to write him a letter explaining that she does indeed want me to look after her finances and that he needs to respect that and stay out of it. But that he is welcome to visit her for fun. He won't accept that, he says he has a legal responsibility to manage her assets. HUH? Even if he was still co-PoA, that only takes effect when she is no longer capable of making decisions. Which he thinks is now, but she is perfectly capable of still making decisions!

It is so sad. All he cares about is money. He is so worried that Oma is spending all her money and there won't be anything left for his inheritance. Our attitude is that Oma has worked hard her whole life, if she wants to spend her money, she can!

And if this wasn't enough drama for yesterday, Carlos found out that his (former) friends' wedding was on the weekend. I have never seen him so upset. He is so hurt that he was excluded and doesn't even know why. His friends are complete jerks and he doesn't deserve this; he is the nicest guy in the world!!!

Finally, some summer weather!

The pool still isn't too warm, but I was tired of waiting, so I went swimming yesterday and the day before. It was actually quite nice once I got used to the temperature. Mom bought a little kiddie pool for Julie. The first time, she cried only being in up to her ankles, but yesterday, she was actually enjoying it. She actually sat down in the water and the water was up to her waist, so that's improvement!

The situation with my aunt and uncle is still ongoing. As of the weekend, Oma asked me to look after her finances instead of them (my aunt expressed on Friday that she didn't want to do it anymore, so that was the perfect opportunity for me to step in). Well, I sent them a very nice email thanking her for all her help, but that I will be taking it over. Well, my uncle sends back a 5 page email thanking me for my offer to help and saying how he has a legal responsibility to make sure Oma's assets are being properly managed. He doesn't know that he no longer is co-PoA or executor of the Will, but regardless, even if he still was, he has no right to take over - Oma is still capable of making decisions! She just can't handle the stress of day to day banking and making sure her bills are paid. But my uncle wants to have control and tell her what she can and can't spend her money on and says that we all have to pay her back for gifts she has given us - the nerve!!!

So, yesterday, we went to the bank and I now have online access to all Oma's accounts, so I can see when her bills are paid (almost all of them are on automatic payment) and when her income gets deposited. So, now I can look after it for her. I sent my aunt and uncle a nice email thanking them for all the info they have provided me in the last couple of days and that I will take care of it from now on, as per Oma's request. I wonder how they will respond to that one!!! I hope we don't have to go as far as telling them they don't have co-PoA, because then they will make Oma's life a living hell. Perhaps they will back off, but I doubt it! And my aunt can still see all the bank transactions since it is actually a joint account with her, so hopefully being able to check to make sure all the bills are paid will be enough for them. What a nightmare!

The insurance is all taken care of, we went to the office on Tuesday and were in and out in 20 minutes, so I have NO IDEA why that wasn't done 2 months ago!!! The fact that my aunt and uncle left Oma's house, my parents' house, and the cottage go completely uninsured for 2 months without telling anyone is completely ridiculous!!! That's why Oma wants to "fire" them from looking after the bills. That and the fact that they never keep her informed. They only see her a handful of times a year, and she really needs a more hands on approach. Someone who can tell her on a near daily basis if she has money or not.

What a mess! I hope we can get the changes to the Will made by the end of this month, and then we can finally put this all behind us! Of course, until my uncle finds out, then it will be WW3!! We don't want to deliberately hide things from him, but if we don't, he will badger Oma and guilt her into leaving everything to him. Sigh, family drama!

Oh the drama!

The situation with my aunt and uncle is still going. On Friday, I stopped in to see Oma and my aunt was there. At first, our conversation went well, but then she brought up Oma's finances. She said she didn't want to look after it anymore, and I do understand that she feels caught in the middle. She wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise, just went on this big speech about how our entire family is jealous of them because they have lots of money and assets and that's why there is tension between our families. WHAT?!?! She couldn't be further off the mark! She also accused me of trying to keep things from her and asked me if someone had called me to let me know she was there and I came running to protect Oma... huh?

She also said something about the house and the cottage not being insured right now. And my uncle called Oma this morning to tell her to go to her insurance company. Ummm, she doesn't drive... how is she supposed to get there? My mom called the insurance company and they said Oma's policies have been cancelled since they haven't been paid since June and they have been talking to my aunt as the contact person on the account! WHAT! For the last 2 months, both the cottage and house have not been insured. My aunt and uncle came by in mid-June to look after the bills, and when they left, they said everything was up to date and paid. Now we find out they were lying and the insurance has been cancelled?!?!?! That not only puts Oma at risk, but also my mom's house since they are all under the same policy! And my aunt and uncle didn't even think to tell anyone this?!?! My mom and Oma are livid, but this gives us the perfect opportunity to tell my aunt that she is no longer going to handle Oma's financial affairs. She told me she didn't want to do this anymore when I saw her on Friday anyway, so this is the perfect time to tell them I will be taking this over. So, mom, Oma, and I have an appointment tomorrow morning to set up a new insurance policy.

And if my aunt and uncle get all offended, we'll have to tell them that my mom has sole power of attorney and they need to butt out.

In related news, Oma had her capacity assessment done on Saturday and she passed with flying colours. This test was to see whether she has the mental capacity to make decisions and understand the ramifications of her decisions (i.e. changing her Will). So, now she can finally have the changes to her Will made and we can put this all behind us for now... here's hoping, anyways!

Great cottage weekend

I had a great time at the cottage with Carlos and Julie. It was too bad that lj and nej didn't end up coming, but I'm glad we have rescheduled for a few weeks from now.

That was the first time we've been to the cottage just the 3 of us and it was so nice to have a little vacation. It was so quiet and peaceful! I enjoyed every moment! Until we were about halfway home and I realized I forgot to turn off the pump and hot water tank. So, we had to turn around and go back. We spent a little extra time at the cottage that way ;)

I am struggling with something and I'm not really sure how to handle it. Oma wants to see Julie all the time. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she cares. I just think the second we walk out the door, she has forgotten that we have visited and is desperate for another visit. We went to visit yesterday after getting home from the cottage even though we were both tired. Well, a half hour after getting home from visiting her, she calls to ask if we could come back for another visit! I really wanted to have today at home to just get caught up on laundry and spend some time with just Julie, and Oma has already called saying she misses Julie and asking for us to come for a visit. Am I crazy for wanting a break from Oma? I realized this weekend that my maternity leave is more than half over, and I have spent almost all of my time either looking after Julie or trying to make Oma happy. Am I being selfish for wanting some time alone with my daughter? I don't want to sound ungrateful, I am happy that mom and Oma live so close and want to spend time with us, I just don't like being made to feel guilty if I don't want to visit every single day! So, I'm going to have to start saying no some of the time, but I know what's going to happen if I do that... she will start crying and begging. I will still visit of course, I just can't do every day anymore. Any advice on how I can get the point across that I want time alone with my daughter without hurting any feelings?

Quebec was awesome!

I had a great time in Quebec City with Julie, my mom, and Oma. We took the train and were completely oblivious to the impending strike until Carlos told me on Wednesday evening. Luckily, we were coming home on Thursday and the train we were on was set to finish its run by 11:30pm, so we missed the strike by a half hour!

We did lots of great things: a horse and carriage ride of the city, a bus tour, lots of walking and exploring, etc. We stayed in the Chateau Frontenac, which was gorgeous! Our room was very close to the pool, so we took Julie for her very first swim! She was a little scared at first, but then she started to enjoy it. We had lots of amazing food and had a great time. What an amazing city; sometime soon I want to go back with Carlos since he has never been there.

On the weekend, I didn't do much of anything. I am having a Creative Memories card making workshop this evening, so I am spending today getting ready for that.

Some hot action last night!

I was awoken last night by several firemen. Too bad they were working on extinguishing a fire across the street! I woke up at about 3:45am this morning to many flashing lights and lots of noise outside. Carlos opened the blinds to look out and the building directly across the street from our house was on fire. We could see the flames coming out of the windows. It is a large building that has been completely renovated this past year and converted to 7 condo units. Luckily, nobody has moved in yet since they are still being renovated. So, naturally, Carlos and I were glued to the window for over an hour while they put out the fire. Okay, I was checking out the firemen... of all the times to be married! :) There are still cop cars out there since they are investigating the cause of the fire. I think that building is cursed or something since there was an attempted murder there a couple years back.

I spent a couple days at the cottage this week, which was fabulous! Now I'm getting ready for the trip to Quebec City; we leave bright and early Monday morning.

Lots to talk about

I can't believe Julie is 5 months old already!!! We did her measurements again and she now weighs 15 pounds, 10 ounces and is 70 cm (27.5 in) long! Wow! We definitely need to buy the next size of carseat for her soon since the one we have now is only until 29 inches or 22 pounds, whichever they reach first. And Julie will reach the length restriction long before the weight restriction! We are planning to take a trip to Babies R Us sometime in the next 2 weeks, so hopefully we find a nice one then.

We had a wonderful visit with Niki, James, and Logan. The weather was nice, so we spent some time hanging out at the local zoo. They just completely renovated the whole play area at the zoo, and it is amazing. I am going to have to take Julie there lots when she is old enough. I am so thankful to have the zoo only 5 minutes away and best of all, it is free of charge! Logan is SUCH a cutie; can't wait to see him again!

I am really furious at some of Carlos' friends. Here is the short version of what happened. Every year for the last 6 years, his friends have a big party in Orangeville. Carlos has been every year. This year, 3 friends in the group have new babies, so Carlos made a comment while chatting with one of the friends online that this year will be different with lots of babies around. She didn't say much, but Carlos then realized that photos had been uploaded from this years' party which had already taken place. We thought it was still to come and that the invites had not been sent out yet. He was really upset and asked his friend "where was my invitation?" to which she didn't say anything, just went offline. Carlos is really hurt since these are his friends that he grew up with and has known since elementary school. And he has been to this party EVERY year and this year he didn't even get an invite.. he just saw pics online of them all having fun and he is the only one in the group not invited. Makes me just furious! I can't believe they would do this to him! He is the nicest guy!!!!

To make it even worse, a couple in the group are engaged (have been for awhile), and she had a bachelorette party recently and pics were online. So, the friend that excluded Carlos from the big party was at this bachelorette party. The kicker is the bachelorette party was in Peterborough! So, they were literally blocks from our house and they didn't contact us to come for a visit to meet Julie. That is so hurtful that this friend came all the way from Orangeville and didn't even ask to come over. And she knew Carlos was hurt from being excluded from the big party. What a bitch! The other thing is, if this girl was having a bachelorette party, chances are they have finally set a wedding date and the wedding is really close. Well, we didn't get an invitation. If we are not invited to their wedding, Carlos will be SO CRUSHED; that is 100 times worse than not being invited to that party. This is their wedding and Carlos was very influential in their relationship; he says they wouldn't be together if it wasn't for him since I guess he helped them through some rough times. So, if he is excluded from that too, he will be so hurt. I feel so badly for him; his friends are being real jerks.

On to happy things, I am going on a "4 generations" trip to Quebec City! Oma REALLY wanted to go with Julie, so mom and I are tagging along too ;) We are going on the train and staying in the Fairmont Chateau Frontenac! I am excited!!! We are going on July 20 - 23; should be fun!!!

Hangin in the Heat

Yesterday, we went to the cottage for the day and boy, was it hot! There wasn't much of a breeze either, so we pretty much planted ourselves in front of the fans. It was warm, but we still had fun.

Question: is anybody going to the UW homecoming in September? Our class has a reunion, so I was just curous whether anyone was going. I am considering it, but I obviously don't want to go if nobody else is!

Julie had another check up with the doctor yesterday. She now weighs 15 pounds, is 68 cm (27") long, and her head circumference is 43 cm. She is above the 95th percentile for length for her age! The doctor said she is right on track to be a 6'2" adult - wow! Within the next 6 weeks, I can start giving her some baby cereal. It is not recommended to start this before 6 months, but my doctor seems to think we can start anytime now. I think I'll wait until the 6 month mark to be safe... unless Julie shows signs before then that she is ready.

The Sunshine State

I have never been to Florida (except for a layover in the Miami Airport, but I don't count that). This December, we are travelling to Florida for a family vacation. My parents are paying for the house rental as a Christmas present for the family. Score! We are leaving on Boxing Day, will arrive late on the 27th and stay until Jan 3rd, arriving home late on the 4th. My brother Al won't be able to come (he doesn't have any vacation time remaining), but it looks like Thom and his gf can come. So, it will be me, Carlos, Julie, Oma, my mom, my dad, Thom, and Thom's gf. It will be fun! The house we have rented is in Rotonda, which is on the Gulf Coast about 1.5 hours south of Tampa. We thought renting a house would be good because it's WAY cheaper than renting a few hotel rooms and this way we'll have our own pool, hot tub, etc. and we can cook all our own meals to save money too... hopefully we can find a seafood market nearby to buy fresh seafood everyday!

We'll have to make a day trip to Busch Gardens, and the Everglades another day. We are also going to try to make it to Kennedy Space Center on either the way down or the way home.

For any of you who have been to Florida, do you have any recommendations on must-sees?

I passed

My boating exam that is! You are allowed to get 9 wrong and still pass, and I only got 2 wrong... and 1 of them I didn't agree with the right answer, but what can you do ;) Everyone who drives a boat needs a license by September, so I am glad that it's out of the way now.

Yesterday, while I was writing my boating exam, my mom called to tell me that my aunt and uncle showed up to talk to Oma. So, I headed straight over there after my exam to see what was up. Mom was babysitting Julie, so she stayed out of it until I got there. Turns out, my aunt and uncle were just concerned about Oma's spending habits. My aunt keeps track of Oma's finances and has online access to her account and Oma has taken out over $2,000 in cash in the last 3 weeks and we have no idea where it has gone. And of course, Oma doesn't have a clue either. As a result, Oma doesn't have enough money to pay her bills this month. What a mess. Oma always says she doesn't like my aunt to be able to see her account statements, but on the other hand, she obviously does need help. It's quite sad. I think we're going to have to take away Oma's bank card and give her an allowance of sorts. Oma does not like the idea of that, she was in tears yesterday over the whole thing.

The good news is that my mom and uncle were in the same room together and they were civil. I think it helped that Julie was there because nobody wanted to yell in front of her, so that was good. The renting of the cottage didn't come up, but that's probably better because they were able to have a reasonable conversation and I think if they started talking about that, it would have turned into a screaming match again. Last I heard, my uncle told Oma that he was going to see if he could find another cottage for them to rent since he knows lots of people at the lake. That would solve the whole issue. So, I guess he finally saw the light and realized that it is still Oma's cottage. So, problem solved... for now anyways.

Tomorrow, the ladies (Oma, my mom, Julie, and me) are headed to the cottage until Sunday. The men will join us for the weekend. Should be good times! Carlos' first father's day is on Sunday, so that is special. We may go to visit Carlos' parents on Sunday afternoon too, so that will be nice.

The wheels are in motion

The appointment with the lawyer today went very well. This type of thing is quite common, which is pretty sad. The lawyer is working under the assumption that my uncle will dispute this when it all comes out and says my uncle has 2 possible grounds for dispute: 1) that Oma has been diagnosed with dementia, so she didn't know what she was doing and 2) that my mom provided "undue" influence to try to get Oma to change her will. So, to protect Oma and her wishes, the lawyer wants to make sure that both of those claims could be proved false. Oma will need to get a capacity assessment done asap to determine whether she is still able to make decisions. She has been seeing a gerontologist, so mom called her office this afternoon and they may have enough info from the tests they have done thus far to provide a capacity assessment. Otherwise, Oma will need further testing... we will find this out by early next week.

As for the possible claim that my mom had undue influence, for Oma's next appointment with the lawyer, one of Oma's friends whom she trusts is going to take her so that my mom is completely not involved and it will just be Oma and the lawyer in the room and the lawyer will ask her all sorts of questions to make sure this is what she wants and that she has not been threatened in any way to make these changes.

We suspect he will take legal action to dispute the will when the time comes, which is why we are doing everything to make sure that won't go anywhere.

So, hopefully in a couple weeks, this will all be resolved and we can put this behind us for now and enjoy the summer at the cottage. We are not going to tell my uncle about the changes to the will at this point because he will be furious and lay a huge guilt trip on Oma and badger her until she gives in and basically make whatever time she has left a living hell. Which is totally what we don't want. We want to make this time of her life as happy and as care-free as possible.

In the meantime, I think Oma will have to write a letter to the renters and let them know that no matter what my uncle says, the cottage is only available for the 1 week, as we indicated earlier. That was our compromise... Oma didn't want to rent it at all this summer, but she does feel badly for them and that they are being told 2 different things and were looking forward to the holiday. So, we have offered them 1 week as a good will gesture, but that's it. The fact that my uncle keeps calling them after Oma talked to them and tells them not to listen what Oma says is not right.

WW3 has begun

This whole situation between my uncle and mom/Oma has completely blown up. Yesterday, my uncle sent my mom a nasty email basically saying the renting of the cottage is a done deal and forbidding her from changing it. He said he is taking control of the cottage. He said a bunch of hurtful things. For the last week, my aunt and uncle have been trying to get a hold of my mom because they want to get together and chat. Well, mom was able to put them off for awhile because of the wedding, but they got sick of waiting and sent the nasty email instead. They said it's a done deal and they are drawing the line in the sand. So, by saying they want to chat about this, they mean they want to convince my mom that they are right. They are not interested in compromising at all.

Oma is really hurt that my uncle is taking control of the cottage because SHE IS STILL ALIVE and he has no right to do that. So, Oma called the potential renters... there was no answer, but she left a message saying that we are offering them 1 week, as discussed over a week ago. That was our compromise.

Then, Oma called my uncle and told him that we have offered them a week and that's all we can do because she wants to go up there. His response was that they can have all 3 weeks and she can come to his cottage if she wants... okay, what about the other 9 of us? He doesn't care. My uncle got Oma all confused and she told him she is very upset about this and that she doesn't want to rent the cottage since she wants to go there. But, he doesn't care. He cares more about the renters than he does his own mother and sister.

So, my mom called my uncle. Well, she started off talking to my aunt my mom told her that she had given up an $8,000 teaching contract for July so that she could take Oma to the cottage because she really wanted to be there. My aunt said too bad; it was too late to change the renters' vacation plans. What we would like to know is why on earth they would only tell us about this after it was too late to change it?!? My mom called the renters within 24 hours of realizing there was a problem and they were disappointed, but very understanding. Then my uncle called them the next day and told them not to listen to my mom or Oma, that they could have it for the full 3 weeks... that was 10 days ago now. It makes me so upset that they arranged this all in MARCH and didn't tell my mom until the end of May. Sure, they may have told Oma, but she forgets 5 minutes later. They needed to tell my mom, who is Oma's caregiver and has the cottage calendar. What a mess. One of the things my aunt said is if we don't give in, this will affect the relationship between our families. It already has! We only see them 2 or 3 times a year anyways, no big loss.

After talking to my aunt for a couple minutes, my uncle came on the phone with both barrels blazing and was screaming at my mom. I could hear his side of the conversation too because he was screaming so loud. His exact words were "it's my cottage so I'm taking control of it". My mom kept saying "Oma is still alive, it's her cottage; it's not your cottage". That screaming went on for a few minutes, until my mom finally said "you're choosing the renters over us, there's nothing more to say" and hung up.

What a nightmare. I had to stay at my mom's house until after midnight last night to try to calm her down. I am really worried about her health. She has been so upset over this for 2 weeks now with chest pains and problems breathing. I don't know what to do.

Luckily, Oma, mom, and I are going to see Oma's lawyer on Thursday. That appointment can't come soon enough! Since my uncle won't listen to my mom or Oma, I think a letter needs to be sent to him from the lawyer telling him that he has no authority over the cottage and to butt out!

The bottom line of this whole situation is Oma wants to go to the cottage with mom, me, and Julie since this is the first summer where we are all free. So, we have been planning that for months. My uncle says it's his cottage since he will be getting it anyway when Oma passes, so he is taking control of it now. Well, little does he know Oma is changing her Will so that he won't be getting the cottage! That will be another war when he finds that out!

Whirlwind weekend!

I had an incredibly busy weekend... but it was a good one! Friday night, I went to the rehearsal for my brother's wedding (I was doing a reading). The rehearsal dinner was then at my parents' house, so that went until 9pm or so. My brother left a message at 4:30pm the day before the wedding asking if the programs were done and printed. We had them done a week prior and emailed it to them for final approval and nowhere along the line did they ask US to print them because if they had, I would have had them all ready to take to the church at the rehearsal. That's typical for my brother though, so we printed them at my parents' house after dinner and had the wedding party fold them, so it worked out fine.

The wedding was beautiful. My brother and his now wife are so obviously in love, it is so cute to see. The wedding was in a tiny old church, and the ceremony was beautiful. And I did an amazing job on my reading, if I do say so myself ;) At the rehearsal, the sound person realized they didn't have a mic for me, and I said "I don't need one, I know how to project my voice"... haha!

After the ceremony, we went for pictures and then headed to the reception. The reception was in a tent on the bride's uncle's farm, so that was nice. Until the sun went down and the mosquitoes were out and it was FREEZING! So, we just had to dance up a storm to keep warm :) We left around 10pm to get Julie home and it was pretty much just the wedding party left at that point anyway. I think a lot of people left as soon as the dance started since it was so cold. I guess in hindsight, they should have ordered heaters for the tent! All in all, it was a beautiful wedding and they are now happily on their honeymoon in Punta Cana for a week.

Yesterday was my mom's Creative Memories Open House. She had invited 36 people, but only 6 could come. But, that's okay. It was very successful and my mom got $70 in free product for being the host, as well as a host gift and host pack, she we were both thrilled with the result. The products really do sell themselves, it's just getting people to come out... that's the hard part! A lot of people said they would have liked to come, so I'm sure if we have another party in a couple months, we can get some more people to come out then.

I'm so glad I have no plans for today. I need a day to just veg after the busy weekend!

Did somebody order some drama?

There has been a lot of family drama in the last week. And the timing of it couldn’t be more poor since my brother’s wedding is in 3 days.

The short version is this: Oma has dementia, so her short term memory is completely gone. So, she is constantly repeating the same things over and over and can’t remember things from 5 minutes ago. My uncle knows this, but apparently, he and Oma had a conversation sometime in the winter and Oma agreed to rent the cottage this summer. Then she completely forgot about that conversation and then at Easter, we were discussing the cottage plans with her and she decided based on that discussion that she would not rent the cottage this summer since I am on mat leave and mom didn’t take on a teaching load in the summer, so she has from mid-June until September off. So, Oma, mom, Julie, and I were planning to spend a good portion of the summer there and come back into town every few days.

Last Friday, my uncle sent my mom and email to let her know he has rented the cottage for 3 weeks this summer. He never even checked with us and we are furious. Oma doesn’t want to rent the cottage since she wants to be there and IT’S HER COTTAGE! My uncle is laying this huge guilt trip on her saying that she promised and she can’t go back on her word now since it will ruin his relationship with the potential renters (they are friends of his). He doesn’t care that we were all planning to be there; he said in the email that he is getting the cottage as per Oma’s will, so he has decided to take control of it now. How hurtful! She is still alive!

This is a huge mess. We have talked to Oma to find out what she wants and she does like the potential renters and doesn’t want to ruin their summer plans, so we have found them a week where we were not planning to be up there and have offered that to them instead and told them we were very sorry that it was double-booked. They were disappointed, but totally understood and said Oma doesn’t need this kind of stress. Well, my uncle found out we talked to them and he called them and told them to forget what mom and Oma said, and that they could in fact have it for the entire 3 weeks. The nerve! I should also mention that he has his own cottage. The right thing to do would be for him to rent them his cottage for the other 2 weeks, but he wouldn’t do that since that would inconvenience him.

He calls Oma and gets her all upset and badgers her until she gives in. And them my mom has to spend a few hours calming her down. He is not respecting her and treating her in a kind and loving way, which is really upsetting. He only lives 20 minutes from Oma and he only sees her 3 or 4 times a year. My mom is Oma’s caregiver full time (since their houses are attached), which is what Oma needs because otherwise, she would need to be in a home. Looking after Oma is pretty much a full-time job these days and my mom has cheerfully taken that on. Oma is no longer able to cook her own meals and mom also has to administer her medication since that is too much for Oma to handle on her own.

So much for the short version! I just can’t believe he would basically act like Oma has already passed away and decide to take control of the cottage because he thinks he’ll be getting it when she passes away. She can leave her assets to whomever she wants! And inheritance is a privilege, not a right! I think this is actually a blessing in disguise since now Oma is re-thinking her will. Because all she wants is for her grandchildren to all be able to enjoy the cottage. What a mess. As if we all need this stress the week of my brother’s wedding!

Busy busy

I have been super busy lately! My brother is getting married in 5 days; wow! I am also having my first Creative Memories event on Sunday, so I am busy getting ready for that. I have been making cards since I want to give one to everyone who attends as a free gift and then people can see all the great things they can do; it's not just scrapbooking. In hindsight, we probably shouldn't have chosen the day after my brother's wedding for this, but it's at my mom's house, and she thought it would be a good day since her house will still be clean from the rehearsal dinner she is hosting on Friday evening. I can't believe the wedding is so close! So much to do before then!