Yesterday, we went to the cottage for the day and boy, was it hot! There wasn't much of a breeze either, so we pretty much planted ourselves in front of the fans. It was warm, but we still had fun.
Question: is anybody going to the UW homecoming in September? Our class has a reunion, so I was just curous whether anyone was going. I am considering it, but I obviously don't want to go if nobody else is!
Julie had another check up with the doctor yesterday. She now weighs 15 pounds, is 68 cm (27") long, and her head circumference is 43 cm. She is above the 95th percentile for length for her age! The doctor said she is right on track to be a 6'2" adult - wow! Within the next 6 weeks, I can start giving her some baby cereal. It is not recommended to start this before 6 months, but my doctor seems to think we can start anytime now. I think I'll wait until the 6 month mark to be safe... unless Julie shows signs before then that she is ready.
Baby Age Ticker
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The Sunshine State
I have never been to Florida (except for a layover in the Miami Airport, but I don't count that). This December, we are travelling to Florida for a family vacation. My parents are paying for the house rental as a Christmas present for the family. Score! We are leaving on Boxing Day, will arrive late on the 27th and stay until Jan 3rd, arriving home late on the 4th. My brother Al won't be able to come (he doesn't have any vacation time remaining), but it looks like Thom and his gf can come. So, it will be me, Carlos, Julie, Oma, my mom, my dad, Thom, and Thom's gf. It will be fun! The house we have rented is in Rotonda, which is on the Gulf Coast about 1.5 hours south of Tampa. We thought renting a house would be good because it's WAY cheaper than renting a few hotel rooms and this way we'll have our own pool, hot tub, etc. and we can cook all our own meals to save money too... hopefully we can find a seafood market nearby to buy fresh seafood everyday!
We'll have to make a day trip to Busch Gardens, and the Everglades another day. We are also going to try to make it to Kennedy Space Center on either the way down or the way home.
For any of you who have been to Florida, do you have any recommendations on must-sees?
We'll have to make a day trip to Busch Gardens, and the Everglades another day. We are also going to try to make it to Kennedy Space Center on either the way down or the way home.
For any of you who have been to Florida, do you have any recommendations on must-sees?
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I passed
My boating exam that is! You are allowed to get 9 wrong and still pass, and I only got 2 wrong... and 1 of them I didn't agree with the right answer, but what can you do ;) Everyone who drives a boat needs a license by September, so I am glad that it's out of the way now.
Yesterday, while I was writing my boating exam, my mom called to tell me that my aunt and uncle showed up to talk to Oma. So, I headed straight over there after my exam to see what was up. Mom was babysitting Julie, so she stayed out of it until I got there. Turns out, my aunt and uncle were just concerned about Oma's spending habits. My aunt keeps track of Oma's finances and has online access to her account and Oma has taken out over $2,000 in cash in the last 3 weeks and we have no idea where it has gone. And of course, Oma doesn't have a clue either. As a result, Oma doesn't have enough money to pay her bills this month. What a mess. Oma always says she doesn't like my aunt to be able to see her account statements, but on the other hand, she obviously does need help. It's quite sad. I think we're going to have to take away Oma's bank card and give her an allowance of sorts. Oma does not like the idea of that, she was in tears yesterday over the whole thing.
The good news is that my mom and uncle were in the same room together and they were civil. I think it helped that Julie was there because nobody wanted to yell in front of her, so that was good. The renting of the cottage didn't come up, but that's probably better because they were able to have a reasonable conversation and I think if they started talking about that, it would have turned into a screaming match again. Last I heard, my uncle told Oma that he was going to see if he could find another cottage for them to rent since he knows lots of people at the lake. That would solve the whole issue. So, I guess he finally saw the light and realized that it is still Oma's cottage. So, problem solved... for now anyways.
Tomorrow, the ladies (Oma, my mom, Julie, and me) are headed to the cottage until Sunday. The men will join us for the weekend. Should be good times! Carlos' first father's day is on Sunday, so that is special. We may go to visit Carlos' parents on Sunday afternoon too, so that will be nice.
Yesterday, while I was writing my boating exam, my mom called to tell me that my aunt and uncle showed up to talk to Oma. So, I headed straight over there after my exam to see what was up. Mom was babysitting Julie, so she stayed out of it until I got there. Turns out, my aunt and uncle were just concerned about Oma's spending habits. My aunt keeps track of Oma's finances and has online access to her account and Oma has taken out over $2,000 in cash in the last 3 weeks and we have no idea where it has gone. And of course, Oma doesn't have a clue either. As a result, Oma doesn't have enough money to pay her bills this month. What a mess. Oma always says she doesn't like my aunt to be able to see her account statements, but on the other hand, she obviously does need help. It's quite sad. I think we're going to have to take away Oma's bank card and give her an allowance of sorts. Oma does not like the idea of that, she was in tears yesterday over the whole thing.
The good news is that my mom and uncle were in the same room together and they were civil. I think it helped that Julie was there because nobody wanted to yell in front of her, so that was good. The renting of the cottage didn't come up, but that's probably better because they were able to have a reasonable conversation and I think if they started talking about that, it would have turned into a screaming match again. Last I heard, my uncle told Oma that he was going to see if he could find another cottage for them to rent since he knows lots of people at the lake. That would solve the whole issue. So, I guess he finally saw the light and realized that it is still Oma's cottage. So, problem solved... for now anyways.
Tomorrow, the ladies (Oma, my mom, Julie, and me) are headed to the cottage until Sunday. The men will join us for the weekend. Should be good times! Carlos' first father's day is on Sunday, so that is special. We may go to visit Carlos' parents on Sunday afternoon too, so that will be nice.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The wheels are in motion
The appointment with the lawyer today went very well. This type of thing is quite common, which is pretty sad. The lawyer is working under the assumption that my uncle will dispute this when it all comes out and says my uncle has 2 possible grounds for dispute: 1) that Oma has been diagnosed with dementia, so she didn't know what she was doing and 2) that my mom provided "undue" influence to try to get Oma to change her will. So, to protect Oma and her wishes, the lawyer wants to make sure that both of those claims could be proved false. Oma will need to get a capacity assessment done asap to determine whether she is still able to make decisions. She has been seeing a gerontologist, so mom called her office this afternoon and they may have enough info from the tests they have done thus far to provide a capacity assessment. Otherwise, Oma will need further testing... we will find this out by early next week.
As for the possible claim that my mom had undue influence, for Oma's next appointment with the lawyer, one of Oma's friends whom she trusts is going to take her so that my mom is completely not involved and it will just be Oma and the lawyer in the room and the lawyer will ask her all sorts of questions to make sure this is what she wants and that she has not been threatened in any way to make these changes.
We suspect he will take legal action to dispute the will when the time comes, which is why we are doing everything to make sure that won't go anywhere.
So, hopefully in a couple weeks, this will all be resolved and we can put this behind us for now and enjoy the summer at the cottage. We are not going to tell my uncle about the changes to the will at this point because he will be furious and lay a huge guilt trip on Oma and badger her until she gives in and basically make whatever time she has left a living hell. Which is totally what we don't want. We want to make this time of her life as happy and as care-free as possible.
In the meantime, I think Oma will have to write a letter to the renters and let them know that no matter what my uncle says, the cottage is only available for the 1 week, as we indicated earlier. That was our compromise... Oma didn't want to rent it at all this summer, but she does feel badly for them and that they are being told 2 different things and were looking forward to the holiday. So, we have offered them 1 week as a good will gesture, but that's it. The fact that my uncle keeps calling them after Oma talked to them and tells them not to listen what Oma says is not right.
As for the possible claim that my mom had undue influence, for Oma's next appointment with the lawyer, one of Oma's friends whom she trusts is going to take her so that my mom is completely not involved and it will just be Oma and the lawyer in the room and the lawyer will ask her all sorts of questions to make sure this is what she wants and that she has not been threatened in any way to make these changes.
We suspect he will take legal action to dispute the will when the time comes, which is why we are doing everything to make sure that won't go anywhere.
So, hopefully in a couple weeks, this will all be resolved and we can put this behind us for now and enjoy the summer at the cottage. We are not going to tell my uncle about the changes to the will at this point because he will be furious and lay a huge guilt trip on Oma and badger her until she gives in and basically make whatever time she has left a living hell. Which is totally what we don't want. We want to make this time of her life as happy and as care-free as possible.
In the meantime, I think Oma will have to write a letter to the renters and let them know that no matter what my uncle says, the cottage is only available for the 1 week, as we indicated earlier. That was our compromise... Oma didn't want to rent it at all this summer, but she does feel badly for them and that they are being told 2 different things and were looking forward to the holiday. So, we have offered them 1 week as a good will gesture, but that's it. The fact that my uncle keeps calling them after Oma talked to them and tells them not to listen what Oma says is not right.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
WW3 has begun
This whole situation between my uncle and mom/Oma has completely blown up. Yesterday, my uncle sent my mom a nasty email basically saying the renting of the cottage is a done deal and forbidding her from changing it. He said he is taking control of the cottage. He said a bunch of hurtful things. For the last week, my aunt and uncle have been trying to get a hold of my mom because they want to get together and chat. Well, mom was able to put them off for awhile because of the wedding, but they got sick of waiting and sent the nasty email instead. They said it's a done deal and they are drawing the line in the sand. So, by saying they want to chat about this, they mean they want to convince my mom that they are right. They are not interested in compromising at all.
Oma is really hurt that my uncle is taking control of the cottage because SHE IS STILL ALIVE and he has no right to do that. So, Oma called the potential renters... there was no answer, but she left a message saying that we are offering them 1 week, as discussed over a week ago. That was our compromise.
Then, Oma called my uncle and told him that we have offered them a week and that's all we can do because she wants to go up there. His response was that they can have all 3 weeks and she can come to his cottage if she wants... okay, what about the other 9 of us? He doesn't care. My uncle got Oma all confused and she told him she is very upset about this and that she doesn't want to rent the cottage since she wants to go there. But, he doesn't care. He cares more about the renters than he does his own mother and sister.
So, my mom called my uncle. Well, she started off talking to my aunt my mom told her that she had given up an $8,000 teaching contract for July so that she could take Oma to the cottage because she really wanted to be there. My aunt said too bad; it was too late to change the renters' vacation plans. What we would like to know is why on earth they would only tell us about this after it was too late to change it?!? My mom called the renters within 24 hours of realizing there was a problem and they were disappointed, but very understanding. Then my uncle called them the next day and told them not to listen to my mom or Oma, that they could have it for the full 3 weeks... that was 10 days ago now. It makes me so upset that they arranged this all in MARCH and didn't tell my mom until the end of May. Sure, they may have told Oma, but she forgets 5 minutes later. They needed to tell my mom, who is Oma's caregiver and has the cottage calendar. What a mess. One of the things my aunt said is if we don't give in, this will affect the relationship between our families. It already has! We only see them 2 or 3 times a year anyways, no big loss.
After talking to my aunt for a couple minutes, my uncle came on the phone with both barrels blazing and was screaming at my mom. I could hear his side of the conversation too because he was screaming so loud. His exact words were "it's my cottage so I'm taking control of it". My mom kept saying "Oma is still alive, it's her cottage; it's not your cottage". That screaming went on for a few minutes, until my mom finally said "you're choosing the renters over us, there's nothing more to say" and hung up.
What a nightmare. I had to stay at my mom's house until after midnight last night to try to calm her down. I am really worried about her health. She has been so upset over this for 2 weeks now with chest pains and problems breathing. I don't know what to do.
Luckily, Oma, mom, and I are going to see Oma's lawyer on Thursday. That appointment can't come soon enough! Since my uncle won't listen to my mom or Oma, I think a letter needs to be sent to him from the lawyer telling him that he has no authority over the cottage and to butt out!
The bottom line of this whole situation is Oma wants to go to the cottage with mom, me, and Julie since this is the first summer where we are all free. So, we have been planning that for months. My uncle says it's his cottage since he will be getting it anyway when Oma passes, so he is taking control of it now. Well, little does he know Oma is changing her Will so that he won't be getting the cottage! That will be another war when he finds that out!
Oma is really hurt that my uncle is taking control of the cottage because SHE IS STILL ALIVE and he has no right to do that. So, Oma called the potential renters... there was no answer, but she left a message saying that we are offering them 1 week, as discussed over a week ago. That was our compromise.
Then, Oma called my uncle and told him that we have offered them a week and that's all we can do because she wants to go up there. His response was that they can have all 3 weeks and she can come to his cottage if she wants... okay, what about the other 9 of us? He doesn't care. My uncle got Oma all confused and she told him she is very upset about this and that she doesn't want to rent the cottage since she wants to go there. But, he doesn't care. He cares more about the renters than he does his own mother and sister.
So, my mom called my uncle. Well, she started off talking to my aunt my mom told her that she had given up an $8,000 teaching contract for July so that she could take Oma to the cottage because she really wanted to be there. My aunt said too bad; it was too late to change the renters' vacation plans. What we would like to know is why on earth they would only tell us about this after it was too late to change it?!? My mom called the renters within 24 hours of realizing there was a problem and they were disappointed, but very understanding. Then my uncle called them the next day and told them not to listen to my mom or Oma, that they could have it for the full 3 weeks... that was 10 days ago now. It makes me so upset that they arranged this all in MARCH and didn't tell my mom until the end of May. Sure, they may have told Oma, but she forgets 5 minutes later. They needed to tell my mom, who is Oma's caregiver and has the cottage calendar. What a mess. One of the things my aunt said is if we don't give in, this will affect the relationship between our families. It already has! We only see them 2 or 3 times a year anyways, no big loss.
After talking to my aunt for a couple minutes, my uncle came on the phone with both barrels blazing and was screaming at my mom. I could hear his side of the conversation too because he was screaming so loud. His exact words were "it's my cottage so I'm taking control of it". My mom kept saying "Oma is still alive, it's her cottage; it's not your cottage". That screaming went on for a few minutes, until my mom finally said "you're choosing the renters over us, there's nothing more to say" and hung up.
What a nightmare. I had to stay at my mom's house until after midnight last night to try to calm her down. I am really worried about her health. She has been so upset over this for 2 weeks now with chest pains and problems breathing. I don't know what to do.
Luckily, Oma, mom, and I are going to see Oma's lawyer on Thursday. That appointment can't come soon enough! Since my uncle won't listen to my mom or Oma, I think a letter needs to be sent to him from the lawyer telling him that he has no authority over the cottage and to butt out!
The bottom line of this whole situation is Oma wants to go to the cottage with mom, me, and Julie since this is the first summer where we are all free. So, we have been planning that for months. My uncle says it's his cottage since he will be getting it anyway when Oma passes, so he is taking control of it now. Well, little does he know Oma is changing her Will so that he won't be getting the cottage! That will be another war when he finds that out!
Monday, June 08, 2009
Whirlwind weekend!
I had an incredibly busy weekend... but it was a good one! Friday night, I went to the rehearsal for my brother's wedding (I was doing a reading). The rehearsal dinner was then at my parents' house, so that went until 9pm or so. My brother left a message at 4:30pm the day before the wedding asking if the programs were done and printed. We had them done a week prior and emailed it to them for final approval and nowhere along the line did they ask US to print them because if they had, I would have had them all ready to take to the church at the rehearsal. That's typical for my brother though, so we printed them at my parents' house after dinner and had the wedding party fold them, so it worked out fine.
The wedding was beautiful. My brother and his now wife are so obviously in love, it is so cute to see. The wedding was in a tiny old church, and the ceremony was beautiful. And I did an amazing job on my reading, if I do say so myself ;) At the rehearsal, the sound person realized they didn't have a mic for me, and I said "I don't need one, I know how to project my voice"... haha!
After the ceremony, we went for pictures and then headed to the reception. The reception was in a tent on the bride's uncle's farm, so that was nice. Until the sun went down and the mosquitoes were out and it was FREEZING! So, we just had to dance up a storm to keep warm :) We left around 10pm to get Julie home and it was pretty much just the wedding party left at that point anyway. I think a lot of people left as soon as the dance started since it was so cold. I guess in hindsight, they should have ordered heaters for the tent! All in all, it was a beautiful wedding and they are now happily on their honeymoon in Punta Cana for a week.
Yesterday was my mom's Creative Memories Open House. She had invited 36 people, but only 6 could come. But, that's okay. It was very successful and my mom got $70 in free product for being the host, as well as a host gift and host pack, she we were both thrilled with the result. The products really do sell themselves, it's just getting people to come out... that's the hard part! A lot of people said they would have liked to come, so I'm sure if we have another party in a couple months, we can get some more people to come out then.
I'm so glad I have no plans for today. I need a day to just veg after the busy weekend!
The wedding was beautiful. My brother and his now wife are so obviously in love, it is so cute to see. The wedding was in a tiny old church, and the ceremony was beautiful. And I did an amazing job on my reading, if I do say so myself ;) At the rehearsal, the sound person realized they didn't have a mic for me, and I said "I don't need one, I know how to project my voice"... haha!
After the ceremony, we went for pictures and then headed to the reception. The reception was in a tent on the bride's uncle's farm, so that was nice. Until the sun went down and the mosquitoes were out and it was FREEZING! So, we just had to dance up a storm to keep warm :) We left around 10pm to get Julie home and it was pretty much just the wedding party left at that point anyway. I think a lot of people left as soon as the dance started since it was so cold. I guess in hindsight, they should have ordered heaters for the tent! All in all, it was a beautiful wedding and they are now happily on their honeymoon in Punta Cana for a week.
Yesterday was my mom's Creative Memories Open House. She had invited 36 people, but only 6 could come. But, that's okay. It was very successful and my mom got $70 in free product for being the host, as well as a host gift and host pack, she we were both thrilled with the result. The products really do sell themselves, it's just getting people to come out... that's the hard part! A lot of people said they would have liked to come, so I'm sure if we have another party in a couple months, we can get some more people to come out then.
I'm so glad I have no plans for today. I need a day to just veg after the busy weekend!
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Did somebody order some drama?
There has been a lot of family drama in the last week. And the timing of it couldn’t be more poor since my brother’s wedding is in 3 days.
The short version is this: Oma has dementia, so her short term memory is completely gone. So, she is constantly repeating the same things over and over and can’t remember things from 5 minutes ago. My uncle knows this, but apparently, he and Oma had a conversation sometime in the winter and Oma agreed to rent the cottage this summer. Then she completely forgot about that conversation and then at Easter, we were discussing the cottage plans with her and she decided based on that discussion that she would not rent the cottage this summer since I am on mat leave and mom didn’t take on a teaching load in the summer, so she has from mid-June until September off. So, Oma, mom, Julie, and I were planning to spend a good portion of the summer there and come back into town every few days.
Last Friday, my uncle sent my mom and email to let her know he has rented the cottage for 3 weeks this summer. He never even checked with us and we are furious. Oma doesn’t want to rent the cottage since she wants to be there and IT’S HER COTTAGE! My uncle is laying this huge guilt trip on her saying that she promised and she can’t go back on her word now since it will ruin his relationship with the potential renters (they are friends of his). He doesn’t care that we were all planning to be there; he said in the email that he is getting the cottage as per Oma’s will, so he has decided to take control of it now. How hurtful! She is still alive!
This is a huge mess. We have talked to Oma to find out what she wants and she does like the potential renters and doesn’t want to ruin their summer plans, so we have found them a week where we were not planning to be up there and have offered that to them instead and told them we were very sorry that it was double-booked. They were disappointed, but totally understood and said Oma doesn’t need this kind of stress. Well, my uncle found out we talked to them and he called them and told them to forget what mom and Oma said, and that they could in fact have it for the entire 3 weeks. The nerve! I should also mention that he has his own cottage. The right thing to do would be for him to rent them his cottage for the other 2 weeks, but he wouldn’t do that since that would inconvenience him.
He calls Oma and gets her all upset and badgers her until she gives in. And them my mom has to spend a few hours calming her down. He is not respecting her and treating her in a kind and loving way, which is really upsetting. He only lives 20 minutes from Oma and he only sees her 3 or 4 times a year. My mom is Oma’s caregiver full time (since their houses are attached), which is what Oma needs because otherwise, she would need to be in a home. Looking after Oma is pretty much a full-time job these days and my mom has cheerfully taken that on. Oma is no longer able to cook her own meals and mom also has to administer her medication since that is too much for Oma to handle on her own.
So much for the short version! I just can’t believe he would basically act like Oma has already passed away and decide to take control of the cottage because he thinks he’ll be getting it when she passes away. She can leave her assets to whomever she wants! And inheritance is a privilege, not a right! I think this is actually a blessing in disguise since now Oma is re-thinking her will. Because all she wants is for her grandchildren to all be able to enjoy the cottage. What a mess. As if we all need this stress the week of my brother’s wedding!
The short version is this: Oma has dementia, so her short term memory is completely gone. So, she is constantly repeating the same things over and over and can’t remember things from 5 minutes ago. My uncle knows this, but apparently, he and Oma had a conversation sometime in the winter and Oma agreed to rent the cottage this summer. Then she completely forgot about that conversation and then at Easter, we were discussing the cottage plans with her and she decided based on that discussion that she would not rent the cottage this summer since I am on mat leave and mom didn’t take on a teaching load in the summer, so she has from mid-June until September off. So, Oma, mom, Julie, and I were planning to spend a good portion of the summer there and come back into town every few days.
Last Friday, my uncle sent my mom and email to let her know he has rented the cottage for 3 weeks this summer. He never even checked with us and we are furious. Oma doesn’t want to rent the cottage since she wants to be there and IT’S HER COTTAGE! My uncle is laying this huge guilt trip on her saying that she promised and she can’t go back on her word now since it will ruin his relationship with the potential renters (they are friends of his). He doesn’t care that we were all planning to be there; he said in the email that he is getting the cottage as per Oma’s will, so he has decided to take control of it now. How hurtful! She is still alive!
This is a huge mess. We have talked to Oma to find out what she wants and she does like the potential renters and doesn’t want to ruin their summer plans, so we have found them a week where we were not planning to be up there and have offered that to them instead and told them we were very sorry that it was double-booked. They were disappointed, but totally understood and said Oma doesn’t need this kind of stress. Well, my uncle found out we talked to them and he called them and told them to forget what mom and Oma said, and that they could in fact have it for the entire 3 weeks. The nerve! I should also mention that he has his own cottage. The right thing to do would be for him to rent them his cottage for the other 2 weeks, but he wouldn’t do that since that would inconvenience him.
He calls Oma and gets her all upset and badgers her until she gives in. And them my mom has to spend a few hours calming her down. He is not respecting her and treating her in a kind and loving way, which is really upsetting. He only lives 20 minutes from Oma and he only sees her 3 or 4 times a year. My mom is Oma’s caregiver full time (since their houses are attached), which is what Oma needs because otherwise, she would need to be in a home. Looking after Oma is pretty much a full-time job these days and my mom has cheerfully taken that on. Oma is no longer able to cook her own meals and mom also has to administer her medication since that is too much for Oma to handle on her own.
So much for the short version! I just can’t believe he would basically act like Oma has already passed away and decide to take control of the cottage because he thinks he’ll be getting it when she passes away. She can leave her assets to whomever she wants! And inheritance is a privilege, not a right! I think this is actually a blessing in disguise since now Oma is re-thinking her will. Because all she wants is for her grandchildren to all be able to enjoy the cottage. What a mess. As if we all need this stress the week of my brother’s wedding!
Monday, June 01, 2009
Busy busy
I have been super busy lately! My brother is getting married in 5 days; wow! I am also having my first Creative Memories event on Sunday, so I am busy getting ready for that. I have been making cards since I want to give one to everyone who attends as a free gift and then people can see all the great things they can do; it's not just scrapbooking. In hindsight, we probably shouldn't have chosen the day after my brother's wedding for this, but it's at my mom's house, and she thought it would be a good day since her house will still be clean from the rehearsal dinner she is hosting on Friday evening. I can't believe the wedding is so close! So much to do before then!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)